15 Easy Ways to Harness the Joy of Anticipation
plus, a beloved show is back, a treat for tennis lovers, and timeless parenting advice
Welcome to Happy on Purpose, a bestselling newsletter about happiness, habits, and midlife. Tap the ❤️ button to spread the joy!
I have a happiness habit that can drive other people (mostly my husband Jim) crazy: planning future meals while eating the current one…
For example, on a recent Sunday morning, as I ate two eggs for breakfast, I tossed around ideas for lunch and dinner. Across the breakfast table, Jim listened, his features patiently perplexed, as I debated the merits of a BLT sandwich vs. Cobb salad for lunch, and whether grilled steak, roasted chicken, pizza, or something more adventurous would best match the weather and my mood at dinnertime…
My impulse to plan every meal to maximize pleasure is a proven strategy for increasing happiness: studies show our prefrontal cortex lights up when anticipating positive events, and that this activation correlates with higher well-being.
So, in meal planning, I’m getting two benefits: delicious food and the joy of looking forward to eating it…
The most well-studied application of the anticipation effect focuses on vacations, and the surprising finding that vacationers reported significantly higher happiness before their trip, not after.
Not only that, but people are at their happiest and most positive about their lives in general when they have a vacation planned!
Shopping and the anticipation of a purchase arriving in your mailbox can boost happiness, but studies demonstrate that anticipating an experience is often more pleasurable and exciting than waiting to receive a thing.
At this time of year, many of us are happily anticipating the lazy days of summer and vacations on the horizon. But we can harness the power of anticipation all year round by structuring our days and weeks to vanquish monotony and include small delights to look forward to.
Here are 15 simple ways to do just that…
1. Plan meals ahead, like me and Nora Ephron, who famously wrote, “I don’t think any day is worth living without thinking about what you’re going to eat next at all times.”
2. If you have a pet, schedule a daily time for snuggles!
3. Pick out an outfit you’re excited to wear the night before—or plan an entire week’s wardrobe at once.
4. Save a new podcast, playlist, or audiobook for your morning or evening commute.
5. Schedule coffee or tea breaks at specific times, and plan to use your nicest china to make it feel special.
6. Book a standing “no-cook-night”—eat at a favorite restaurant or get takeout at home.
7. Schedule a catch-up call with a friend you love talking to. Since January, I’ve been calling my best friend in Australia every Monday, and I look forward to it all week!
8. Plan a specific movie or show to watch on a regular weeknight rather than scrolling.
9. Denote a “fun” day each weekend where you get to do as many of your favorite things as possible.
10. Each new season, write a “bucket list” of things you want to do, print it out, and mark each item off!
11. Book a restaurant you’ve always wanted to try a month or two out. Or tickets to a concert, sports game, or show!
12. Pre-order a book by a favorite author the moment it’s announced for months of gentle anticipation.
13. Plant seeds and wait and watch for them to grow!
14. Start daydreaming (make notes or a Pinterest board!) about fun ways to celebrate birthdays and other special events (Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.) months in advance, to maximize your anticipation.
15. Create a “first of the season” ritual and add it to your calendar. Some ideas: the first iced coffee or pumpkin spice latte of the year, first fire of fall, first farmers market visit of the spring, first swim of the summer…
📺WATCH. The final episode of Margo’s Got Money Troubles had me in tears, and I have a feeling the upcoming season finale of Hacks might too! Jim and I are really enjoying Widow’s Bay, a dramedy starring Matthew Rhys as the mayor of a remote New England island that appears to be haunted: it’s slightly reminiscent of Stranger Things in style. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve seen so far of Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, a series following a divorced soccer mom who finds herself in the midst of a sordid murder mystery. And I’m very excited that a new season of Tina Fey’s The Four Seasons will be out tomorrow. In an unexpected twist, my 19-year-old daughter happened upon Season 1 and loved it!
📚READ. I spent a few aimless days bereft after finishing all 8 volumes of The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion, a charming, cozy series that I highly recommend to anyone looking for a calming, uplifting read. I am now deep into The Things We Never Say by Elizabeth Strout, which centers on a soul-searching middle-aged high school teacher. For summer reading inspo, I highly recommend Brittany Viklund’s BIG Summer Reading Guide, which includes 99 books paired with fabulous summer anthems!
🎾SUBSCRIBE. For the tennis lovers: my new project, Tennisette, a free weekly newsletter for stylish tennis players, launches next Friday, June 5! On the eve of the French Open finals, the first issue will include practical advice to upgrade your game, plus chic Paris-inspired finds to wear both on and off the court. Click here to subscribe for free!
Here’s how to build a village where you are. “The easiest way to build a strong relationship is through repeated everyday interaction.”
59 Actually Useful Tips for Using Your Phone (a Little) Less. Including grayscaling (one of my fave hacks), burying social apps deep in folders, using a physical map(!!!!), leaving it at home during errands, and more…
😂Teenager texts, graduation edition! “There won’t be any other parents there…”
Here’s an amazing trip to book and look forward to: a new train route through the American West.
I’ve been thinking about the wisdom contained in this 19-point “Memo From a Child to Parents” ever since the head of my son’s school shared it in the fall. “Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real to me and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.”
A very warm welcome to this week’s new subscribers, especially all the Aussies who saw my post on Mamamia! I’m so happy you’ve joined our thoughtful, wise crew. Fun fact: I’m from Brisbane but have lived in the United States for 25 years. There’s some more about me here, and if you’d like to catch up, you can peruse every issue of Happy on Purpose right here.
Have a wonderful week and weekend. Coming up: entertaining tricks, and this year’s best books, TV, and movies!
P.S.: 🎾If you’re a tennis lover, you might like my other free newsletter, Tennisette. Subscribe to receive the very first issue on Friday, June 5!
🎁 Did you know you can WIN a paid subscription? Each time you share Happy on Purpose with a friend who becomes a free or paid subscriber, you automatically earn a free month’s subscription. Use the Refer a friend or Share button on any post to win.
📧Were you forwarded this email? This is Happy on Purpose, a bestselling weekly newsletter filled with ideas and advice for a joyful life. Here’s more about the newsletter and me.
❤️If you’d like to subscribe, click here!
I always have a Summer Bucket List so that I don’t wake up on Labor Day facing down a drive back to NYC and saying “we never did that!” It ranges from day trips with the kids to lobster nights with friends to projects I want to get to around the house.
I started an Anticipation list for the year in January in the Notes app on my phone. I love reading through your ideas to expand my list. Thank you! ❤️