29 Books That Will Change Your Life

plus movies, cookbooks, and more

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Each week I receive questions from you, my dear readers, so today I’m answering the ones I’m asked the most. Below you’ll find LOTS of book recommendations, go-to cookbooks, and my favorite “comfort” movies and TV shows. If you have a question or just want to say hi, you’re always welcome to reply to this email or send me a note at amelia@somehappyscribbles.com!

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Q: I need something to read! What do you recommend?

This is the question I am most often asked, closely followed by: What’s it like to live in the country? (see below). I love many books, so this is a very subjective, of-the-moment list of some of my favorites, both fiction, and nonfiction. I hope one or more of these might be just what you’re looking for!

Fiction

A book I highly recommend, and that is essentially a well-curated library, is The End Of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe. The title sounds depressing, but I promise you it’s not - and every book mentioned is an excellent read.

Crossing To Safety by Wallace Stegner is an engrossing, beautifully written saga of friendship, marriage, and everything else that makes a good life. I re-read it every summer.

And then there’s Family Happiness by Laurie Colwin, which is the story of Polly, who’s known by all as an appropriate, reliable, good daughter, wife, and mother until she begins to question the strict boundaries of her life and embarks upon an affair…

I love Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld for its delightfully witty take on Pride and Prejudice, set in modern-day Cincinnati (!).

For something darker, I recently revisited Misery by Steven King and found the story of a writer imprisoned by his “number one fan” every bit as gripping as it was when first released in 1987.

And I’ve often returned to Rachel’s Holiday by Marian Keyes, about a young Irishwoman who moves to New York in her twenties intent on carefree fun but finds herself in rehab when all that “fun” becomes addiction. The book served as a cautionary tale when I was a twenty-something living in New York but I now read it for a shot of nostalgia.

If you’re looking for a series and like detective novels, I am a huge fan of the Cormoran Strike novels by JK Rowling, under the pen name of Robert Galbraith. Each book is long, so you’ll be busy for a while!

In terms of newish releases over the past few years, here are the books I’ve recommended repeatedly:

The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz is my favorite recent favorites: it’s an engrossing literary thriller with a very clever and jaw-dropping twist…

I couldn’t put down I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai, which came out this year. It’s a boarding school whodunnit, set now and in the 90’s, that poses questions about privilege, secrets, power, and race. My 16-year-old daughter loved it too.

Another one I stayed up late reading was A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney. It’s a gut-wrenching, brutally honest memoir about losing a child to cancer by the comedian and star of Catastrophe. I cried and cried and cried.

If you like tear-jerkers, then you must read This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub. I thought it was about time travel but it’s really a poignant story of the heart-warming love between a father and daughter.

For a more summery read, I’ve become a big Emily Henry fan, and highly recommend Beach Read, her first big bestseller, about a grieving romance novelist who finds herself living next door to her college nemesis. I also loved Book Lovers - this “send-up” of romance novel tropes is highly amusing.

Nonfiction

Every one of these books changed my life in one way or another and I dip back into them from time to time…

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey was one of the first self-help books I ever read, when I was just out of Uni, in my first full-time job. It’s a perennial bestseller for a reason: Covey’s advice is about prioritizing what’s most important and meaningful in your life.

Almost everything I know about parenting, I learned from How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk… This book (and the in-person course based on it that I attended with a group of friends) taught me the importance of tuning into what my children (and husband and colleagues and friends!) think and feel and want instead of reflexively telling them what I believe they should think, feel, and want. It’s a book about “parenting” but it’s really about how to truly understand other people.

I return to Finding Your Own North Star by Harvard-trained sociologist Martha Beck repeatedly when I need a refresher on tapping into my “essential self” and to track where I am according to Beck’s “Change Cycle” of transition and growth. For anyone feeling stuck or unsure of what to do with their life, this book (which includes many exercises) is an excellent guide. Beck also wrote my favorite “diet book,” The Four Day Win, which helps you understand why you eat what you eat and how to choose the foods, and lifestyle, that makes you feel your best.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari completely changed the way I viewed the world and the various political, religious, and economic constructs that humans have created. It’s an ambitious, but easy-to-read distillation of the entirety of human history.

Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. The honest, vulnerable, and surprisingly uplifting memoir of Frankl’s experience as an Auschwitz inmate and his ability to find freedom, meaning, and purpose amidst intolerable pain and suffering.

The Inner Game of Tennis by Timothy Galwey. The book is ostensibly about achieving peak athletic performance but its advice and techniques for quieting your inner critic and becoming your best self apply to every aspect of life. This book also happens to appear on Bill Gates’ list of top 5 favorite all-time books!

A Pattern Language: this is the book I consult when making any home decorating or design decision. It was written by a group of architects who set out to analyze and define the elements of homes, gardens, buildings, cities, and towns, that make human beings feel the most comfortable and at ease.

The Artist’s Way: Julia Cameron’s masterpiece on discovering the creativity inside yourself helped me reconnect to my childhood love of writing and truly changed my life. Whether you’re looking for a career change or just want to be more connected to your inner child (and artist!), this book feels like a gentle, loving hug.

Please know that nothing makes me happier than recommending books, so if you are ever looking for something specific, don’t hesitate to ask for ideas!

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Q: What’s an easy, delicious, healthy dinner that also feels special?

Weirdly, whenever I am asked this question, I can immediately give several answers but when I’m in my own kitchen, staring at the fridge, my mind goes completely blank!

Given that the long, warm days of summer are nearly here in the US, right now I highly recommend Ginger Lime Chicken (which can either be grilled or cooked on the stovetop) with white rice and a simple green salad. It’s quick and simple and perfect for a weeknight but also special enough for a dinner party. And this meal is non-dairy and gluten-free!

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Q: Where do you get recipe ideas from? What are your go-to cookbooks?

I don’t know about you but even though I buy new cookbooks regularly, I faithfully return to just a few beloved classics. My standbys are Ina Garten’s cookbooks, and in particular, Make It Ahead and Foolproof.

I also refer regularly to Alice Waters’ The Art of Simple Food (there are seasonal menu ideas in the front!). When I want to recreate something I’ve had at a restaurant, I consult The Joy of Cooking and The New Best Recipe; and when I’m in need of inspiration, I check the New York Times Cooking App, which I think is worth the subscription fee.

The Frankies Spuntino Kitchen Companion and Cooking Manual has been a good friend to our kitchen: we love spending a weekend day making their “Sunday Sauce” and assorted vegetable sides.

And I have two recommend two memoirs with recipes, a genre I adore: Home Cooking by Laurie Colwin, and Cooking For Mr Latte by Amanda Hesser.

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Q: Can you recommend something to watch if I want to feel cozy and comforted?

When I want to feel cozy, I usually return to an old favorite - something that will make me laugh, or maybe cry a little, depending on my emotional state.

My all-time favorite film is High Society, the movie musical version of The Philadelphia Story, starring Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, Louis Armstrong, AND Frank Sinatra! I memorized all the songs as a teenager dreaming of a glamorous life in America…Speaking of movie musicals, I also love Everyone Says I Love You, with Alan Alda, Drew Barrymore, Ed Norton, Julia Roberts and Goldie Hawn - all singing! It’s by Woody Allen, and while I have mixed feelings about his behavior, I really do love this movie. While we’re on the topic of musicals, I will never turn down the chance to watch Funny Face, with Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire, which takes place mainly in Paris and is adorable.

No list of my favorite movies would be complete without the ones I quote from all the time: The Princess Bride (“My name is Inigo Montoya, prepare to die;” “Mawwige is what bwings us togevver today.”); Top Gun (“Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash.”); Four Weddings and a Funeral (“I think we both know that’s a big lie;” “In the immortal words of David Cassidy, I think I love you.”); Working Girl (“Coffee, Tea, Me?”); and Wall Street (“Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel”).

For a girls’ night, look no further than Heartburn, the fictionalized version of Nora Ephron’s divorce from Carl Bernstein (the book is excellent, too!) starring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson; It’s Complicated and Something’s Gotta Give, my two favorite Nancy Meyers’ movies. Sorry not sorry about the #coastalgrandmother vibes…

As a family, we love to watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Home Alone, and Trading Places - those last two around the holidays, always!

And when Jim and I are feeling stressed and just want to collapse on the couch and laugh, we return to Arrested Development - any season but the last one. The dysfunctional Bluth family has gotten us through some tough times.

Finally, no list of my favorite movies and shows would be complete without The Castle, often touted as every Aussie’s number one movie, about a close-knit family and their fight to hold on to their beloved home. This one makes me cry every time: it’s funny, sad, and meaningful, and somehow manages to capture both the best and worst of the Australian culture I grew up in. It’s a masterpiece.

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Q: What’s your favorite New York City restaurant?

For nearly twenty years, this has been Gramercy Tavern. It’s not only my favorite restaurant, but Gramercy Tavern, or GramTav as I like to call it, is one of my favorite places in the world. From the aroma of the wood-fired oven and the stunning seasonal flower arrangements to the buzz in the always-crowded bar, and the delicious food and impeccable service, this place just makes me happy.

Some notes: there are two dining options - the Tavern, which is the more casual area surrounding the bar, or the Dining Room, which is the fancier option, with multi-course prix-fixe menus for lunch and dinner. I always opt for the Tavern, where you now must make a reservation, but if I’m alone or it’s early enough to snag a couple of barstools, my absolute favorite thing to do is eat at the bar. One final note: Gramercy Tavern is expensive. I really do think it’s worth it, but it’s truly a splurge.

Btw, if you’d like a New York City restaurant, hotel, or activity guide, just let me know, and I’ll write one up in a future newsletter!

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Q: Do you have a morning routine? You’ve mentioned that you write Morning Pages. How long does that take?! How early do you get up?

I certainly do have a “morning routine” and I have been mercilessly teased about it by friends who do not understand my need to do the exact same things each and every day. My routine is not penance or something to brag about: it developed out of a desire to have something to look forward to each morning and to start every day feeling calm, organized, and happy. I am naturally an early riser and love having quiet time before everyone else in my family gets up - instead of doing this after they go to bed, as I know night owls prefer.

It all begins 45 minutes to an hour before the rest of my family gets up when my silent Fitbit alarm goes off. The silent alarm is key to achieving my goal of quiet time without waking any other humans or dogs!

I grab my iPhone from its charging station in the bathroom, drink some water, and get back into bed, where I lie on my back and meditate for 10 minutes, using the timer on my phone. I meditate in the most basic way: focusing my attention on following my breath as it goes in and out, constantly refocusing as my mind inevitably wanders. When I began meditating, 9 years ago, I started with 5 minutes each day. Now, if it’s a weekend and there’s no morning rush, I spend longer than 10 minutes whenever I can.

I then take Sandy and Ollie, our two Havanese dogs, outside.

Back inside, I make a hot cup of PG Tips tea and get settled on my window seat, with comfy pillows and a blanket, to write my morning pages: three stream-of-consciousness pages written in long hand. When I first started doing them it took me 45 minutes, as my hands were out of practice at writing with a pen; but now, it takes just under 30 minutes.

And then it’s time to wake everyone else up to get ready for school and work. For breakfast, I always have another cup of hot black tea and two eggs. I’ve been eating eggs for breakfast for twenty years or more, no matter the changing health advice! For the past three years, I’ve been soft-boiling them, but I’ve also been through years-long phases of poaching them and frying them. On very special occasions (!) I will add some fried bacon and tomatoes…

When I’m away from home, I largely stick to the same routine, taking my notebook and pen, and sometimes tea things and an egg cup with me!

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Q: What is your novel about? When will it be published?

I love it when people ask me this!

The novel I’m working on is an updated homage to Four Weddings and a Funeral, and is about Amy, a divorcee who has sworn off relationships following the demise of her long marriage and is living her best life in New York City. But when Amy meets Ben, a dashing Englishmen, at a wedding, her commitment to staying single begins to crumble…

I’m nearly finished with a rough first draft of the book. Once that’s done (hopefully this summer) it will require several rounds of edits before it’s ready to be sent to agents, which is the first step in finding a publisher. I’ll keep you posted as things progress. Writing is a slow, slow process!

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Q: What was it like to move from NYC to the country? 

I’ve been asked this constantly since we left Brooklyn Heights, in New York City, in 2021 to live in Dutchess County, 2 hours north of the city.

The short answer is: it’s wonderful but not perfect!

After 20 years in NY, I was ready for a change and open to moving almost anywhere. There are so many things I love about big cities, and NYC in particular, but I found myself yearning for a closer connection to nature and the seasons. My childhood was mainly spent in the suburbs of Brisbane, a mid-sized Australian city, but my family also lived for several years in Katanning, a tiny 3,000-person country town outside of Perth. Those years in the country were special to me, and as I watched my own children growing up in a very urban environment, I realized I wanted them to experience a different way of living.

The wonderful things about moving to the country are, of course, the immediate access to grass and trees and fresh air. Living in a “proper” house! Ease of parking! I now have 7 chickens that lay fresh eggs each day! And a beautiful garden! And a lot more privacy, which was something I craved. Living in the country is quieter and in many ways simpler. There are far fewer options and choices when it comes to most things, from kids’ activities to grocery stores and restaurants, and most of the time I’m OK with that. And when I want something I can’t get, it’s nice that the NYC is 2 hours away, and that online delivery is available!

It was an adjustment for our children, particularly teenaged Sadie, who loved the freedom she had in the city: walking everywhere, taking the subway, and spending time at Starbucks with her friends. She didn’t like having to ask to be driven around when she wanted to see friends, but now she has her driver’s license, and freedom of movement, again!

For me, the hardest part of leaving the city has been all about relationships. It’s difficult to not see beloved, close friends regularly and it takes a lot of work to stay connected when you’re out of sight. But I’ve made this a priority, and it can be done! And on the flip side, there is the joy of meeting and making new friends, too.

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Phew! That’s it for this week - thank you for reading! I hope this answers your questions, and helps you get to know me a little better. If there’s anything else you want to know, reach out anytime by replying to this email or to amelia@somehappyscribbles.com
xo
Amelia