A Foolproof Guide to Meaningful Mother’s Day Gifts
how to give thoughtful presents this year—and every year!
One Mother’s Day gift I’d truly adore is to never again be asked “What do you want for Mother’s Day?”
It happens every year, sometime in April. The scene varies, but the routine is the same: my husband, a stricken look on his face and desperation in his eyes, asks The Question. His intentions are firmly in the right place, yet still, my heart sinks.
Granted, he’s in a tricky spot: not only is he responsible for ensuring my children show their appreciation for me on Mother’s Day, but he must honor his mother, too.
The situation is high-stakes! It’s as if two of the most important people in his life have milestone birthdays on the same day every single year. He wants to ensure we both feel loved and appreciated, and he worries he won’t get it right. Being told, “Oh, I don’t want anything!” does not lessen his stress.
And so, on behalf of mothers and the people who love us, this week, I’ve tackled this perennial problem by offering an easy solution to the “what to give for Mother’s Day” dilemma, not just for this year, but for every year.
If the well-meaning loved ones in your life could use some help, please send this post their way…
The trick to giving something wonderful—and meaningful—each and every Mother’s Day is to embrace the “signature gift,” an elegant and genius hack that saves time and brain space.
Giving a signature gift means choosing a gift category and sticking with it every year. For example, for the past eleven years, I’ve given my husband a framed New Yorker cartoon for his birthday. The beauty of this strategy is that the biggest decision is made once, and all you have to do each year is choose a variation within the category.
A signature gift may be a tangible item, like my New Yorker cartoon tradition, or an experience. Think: preparing her favorite meal, going to the movies or a show together, or giving her a night in a swanky hotel.
One drawback is that the element of surprise is somewhat diminished. But! You can counteract this by having fun and getting creative within the category. While the mom in your life might know she will receive a book, tickets, a piece of jewelry, or artwork each year, she doesn’t know exactly what it will be!
The secret is to focus on the actual mothers in your life, and not get distracted by the ones portrayed by brands in advertisements. Those mothers all love going to brunch or picnics, having breakfast in bed, wearing fuzzy slippers, and drinking coffee. I’m a mom, but I don’t like any of those things!
Start by asking a few simple questions, and trust yourself: chances are, you know her better than anyone else in your life.
Here are 5 helpful questions to get you started…
How does she spend her free time, or what does she wish she had time to do?
What gifts has she especially cherished in the past?
Does she collect something?
What does she yearn for but won’t allow herself to have?
Who does she most enjoy spending time with?
Art. Choose a different framed piece of art for her each year. It can be fun to pick a theme, like botanicals or watercolors, or an artist, like Slim Aarons, but it’s most important to think about how the pieces would work within her home.
Books. Each year, give her a collection of that year’s buzziest books. Inscribe each one with a heartfelt or funny message.
Add to a treasured collection. Does she collect a certain type of shoes, handbags, china, cookbooks, silk scarves, or antiques?
Jewelry. Buy her something from a brand she loves, or add to a beloved collection, like stacking bracelets, rings, or layering necklaces, colorful earrings, or charms. My son gives me a signature gift each birthday: a pair of earrings in the same style, but with a different colored stone.
Personalize something. One of my all-time favorite gifts was the themed sweatshirts my husband and kids made for my 50th birthday, which we all still wear. I would be thrilled to receive a new sweatshirt, baseball cap, mug, or t-shirt each year with a heartfelt (and classy!) custom Mother’s Day-related message!
A LOT of her favorite indulgence. Every Christmas, my Australian godmother sends me a huge box of my favorite Aussie chocolate bars, and I look forward to it all year! You could package up a selection of her favorite scented candles, perfume with matching moisturiser, drinks, sweet treats, or bath products. Make it truly luxurious by including a very generous amount!
Frame a picture that captures that year, or make a photo book. Or buy a beautiful frame for a picture she loves—recent or from the past.
Flowers. It can be a Mother’s Day cliché, but if she genuinely loves receiving flowers (I do!), don’t hesitate. Send her a huge bouquet and make sure it arrives on or before the big day!
Choose a specific activity, like a meal, vacation, tickets to an event, or a family photo session, and give a new version each year.
The priceless gift of time. Make it a tradition to give her the gift of an extra day of childcare, a week of grocery shopping, meal delivery, or take a dreaded chore off her hands. A general rule of thumb here: if her children are younger than 12, she will appreciate time away from childcare responsibilities; if her children are older than 12 (or adults), she will most likely want to spend quality time with them.
Honor her wisdom. Each year, write her a note describing the best advice she gave you during that year, or type up a story about a favorite recent moment with her.
Organize a family photo—and frame it! Most mothers treasure annual pictures of their children, smiling and appropriately dressed, and we all know this can be difficult to execute! Do it all: arrange for the photo to be taken, printed, and framed.
Tickets. Make it a tradition to give her tickets to a Broadway show, concert, art exhibition, or sporting event each year. It doesn’t have to happen on Mother’s Day!
Play a game together! Pick her favorite sport or hobby and arrange for her to take a lesson each year, or—if you can do this without tears and recriminations—for the whole family to play together.
Serve up her favorite meal. Whether at home, at a restaurant, or delivered. Be sure to consider who she really is vs. Mother’s Day cliches, and she should (of course!) not have to participate in any aspect of the meal, from making a reservation, grocery shopping, to setting the table and cleaning up.
Vacation. Organize, or facilitate, a special trip over Mother’s Day weekend each year (be sure to ask her who she wants to go with!). A treasured Mother’s Day memory from when my children were little was spending the weekend with my closest friends at a relaxing resort, while my husband took our kids to visit his mom!
Need more help? You’re very welcome to ask gift-related questions in the comments or reply to this email, and I’ll do my best to offer sound advice! I reply to every message and comment!
Mother’s Day Unwrapped: A Gift Guide with a Twist. Helpful hints for mothers and the people who love them!
My Happiness Checklist. How to be happier every day—without spending a cent!
How To Create a Beloved Family Tradition. 6 things I've learned from 20 years of "The Beach"
I will be on vacation next week, and instead of a regular newsletter, I’m trying something new: Just One Joy, a series featuring short, highly enthusiastic endorsements. Look out for it in your Inbox, it will be fun!
If you enjoy Happy on Purpose, there are several ways to let me know: click the ❤️ button at the top or bottom of this email, leave a comment, upgrade to a Paid Subscription, share it with someone else, or hit reply and email me! I reply to every message and comment! xo Amelia
Honestly this is genius!!!!! Especially the rule of thumb about under 12/over 12!!
This ‘foolproof guide’ is anything but gimmicky—it’s a masterclass in cutting through the noise of performative sentiment to what motherhood (and daughterhood) really demands: presence over platitudes. Your blend of practicality and tenderness is a gift. The kind of piece I’ll return to yearly, like a letter to my future self.