How To Be Happier At Home
plus: a crypto explainer; the doctor of death; and the man who never wants to die...
Happy Friday the 13th to those who celebrate! Here are three (scary’ish) things I’ve loved this week:
📺 Dr. Death: I spent every night this week glued to the television, watching this 8-part dramatized series of the true story of Dr. Christopher Duntsch, a neurosurgeon who crippled or killed almost every patient he operated on during routine surgeries - Joshua Jackson is charming and menacing as Duntsch, and Alec Baldwin and Christan Slater are both excellent as experienced surgeons determined to bring Duntsch to justice. The show explores whether Duntsch intended to do harm to his patients and what part the medical establishment played in turning a blind eye to his conduct. I heard about the show from Grace’s Substack but it appears I’m late to this story: there’s also a podcast and true-crime documentary on the topic.
📖 Number Go Up: Inside Crypto’s Wild Rise and Staggering Fall: written by Bloomberg investigative reporter, Zeke Faux, this is an excellent (and at times hilarious) explainer of what cryptocurrencies are, how the blockchain works, what a crypto exchange does, plus an accounting of the rise and fall of Sam Bankman-Fried and his company, FTX. Faux, who is equal parts skeptical and curious about crypto, spent two years meeting with crypto bros, billionaires, and everyday people caught up in the frenzy, in order to get to the bottom of a question that nagged at him: is crypto simply a massive Ponzi scheme?
🎧 A New Nobel Laureate Explains The Gender Pay Gap, Freakonomics Ep. 232: Claudia Goldin, who was just awarded the Nobel Prize in Economics and was the first woman to be offered tenure in the Harvard Economics Department, explains the nuances in the data behind the oft-quoted pay gap between men and women, and her best ideas for achieving pay equality between genders.
All (obsessively curated!) recommendations, organized by category and mood, can always be found at the following links: Current Recs; Books; TV Shows; Movies; Playlists & Podcasts.
When I wrote about my favorite “books with benefits” recently, reader
commented that she’d never heard of the English country house trick of using checked, floral, and striped fabrics together, which surprised me because it’s a scheme I am very fond of. I love the feelings it evokes: quirky, cozy, and lived-in.I grew up in a modern and stylish house: it was one-story, with an open-plan design, glossy white ceramic floor tile, and expansive windows everywhere. There were no dark, quiet, soft corners to retreat to, and I always felt exposed. I envied my friends whose bedrooms were on a different floor from their parents, and I fantasized about the cozy dens and eat-in kitchens on TV sitcoms.
It's taken me decades to figure out how to make my own home feel warm, happy, and comfortable. Decorating is overwhelming – there are so many options – and it’s easy to get stuck procrastinating.
My solution for combating decision-making paralysis has been to collect a set of rules and guidelines that inform my design choices.
Another favorite method of decision-making: copying someone else! This is what I did when I moved into my first solo apartment, a shoebox-sized studio in a brownstone with a working fireplace on Jane Street in the West Village of New York City. I had recently arrived from London, with a suitcase of clothes but no furniture, and absolutely no idea where to get any. When my landlord mentioned, approvingly, that the previous tenant had furnished the place entirely from Anthropologie and Restoration Hardware, I set off for those two stores, relieved to have a plan.
Now, approximately eight homes later, I’ve amassed quite a collection of home-decorating tips and tricks from reading interior design books and magazines, noticing (and copying!) the things that make me feel most comfortable in hotels and my friend’s homes, and from talented interior designers, and friends, who have helped me along the way. Like my designer friend, Jennifer, who tipped me off to the existence of professional art hangers and blew my mind by placing a vintage oriental runner in her kitchen!
My guidelines fall into two categories: practical tips that make rooms feel comfortable and just right, which I’m sharing this week. Next week will be all about the cozifiers – the things that truly make a house feel homey - plus my favorite interior design books.
I would love to know your tips for making a house feel like a home. Is there a color or a pattern rule you follow? A tip for hanging wall art or photographs? A piece of furniture that changed your life? Please share in the comments below! I know some interior designers read this: will you tell us your secrets?!
Practical Tips for a Happier Home
While I love to figure things out on my own, my first rule of design decision-making is that when it comes to choosing anything big, obvious, and expensive, like paint colors, wallpaper, a dining table, or sofa; I consult an expert. It costs money, but you’re paying for their experience: professional designers have seen it all and will steer you away from costly mistakes. If a designer isn’t in your budget, ask a friend whose home you admire for advice.
If you’re a parent or planning to be one: know that the baby and toddler years are going to be hard on your home and furniture – but they’re over quickly. You can buy high-quality pieces that can be refurbished and recovered in the future, or you can decorate minimally knowing that sofas will be used as jungle gyms and anything knee height or below will be grabbed by tiny hands, and simply wait until your youngest child starts school to decorate the way you’ve always imagined!
Kid-related: even if you buy a lovely desk and put it in their bedroom, kids will mostly do homework in the kitchen or dining room. Desks are optional!
It’s better to choose neutral or plain colors for large upholstered pieces, you can liven things up with patterns on pillows, curtains, and rugs (and more easily change them from time to time).
Every chair and sofa should have a little table near it, on which to place a drink or snack.
When placing sofas and chairs in a room, imagine they’re “talking” to each other as if they’re people.
When unsure what fabrics to choose (for curtains, pillows, upholstery, bed linens), the English country house trick of mixing a check with a floral and a stripe is timeless and charming.
Colors should flow from room to room: ensure you have at least one color the same in the furnishings, carpet, or walls of adjoining rooms.
If in doubt, choose a vintage oriental rug. The patterns are forgiving of the realities of pets, children, and life; they’re multicolored, so work with lots of different fabrics and paint colors; they’re well-made and have already stood the test of time; and they work with both modern and traditional furniture. I have them in my kitchen, closet, bathroom, living room…
While on the topic of rugs: most rooms look better when most of the floor is covered. But rugs are expensive. If you can’t afford a beautifully patterned carpet to cover an entire room, instead, use a large neutral-colored sisal area rug and layer a smaller, nicer carpet over it.
Finally, on rugs: rug pads are not optional. They protect the carpet and floor, they add another layer of softness underfoot, and they prevent rugs from moving around and slipping.
Lighting changes everything: ideally, rooms should have a mix of overhead lighting (on dimmers) plus lamps at different heights. Oh, and candles, of course!
Less stuff is the key to organization and a sense of calm at home! I tussle with my husband, Jim, about this all the time. Whenever he suggests adding more shelves or boxes to store things in, I suggest we remove the stuff that “needs to be stored.” Extra stuff creates extra stress.
Did you know there are professional art hangers who will come to your home and hang pictures?! This is money well spent: they’re fast, efficient, hang artwork securely, and prevent marital disagreements…
Every room should have something ugly in it. Apparently, a famous designer said this, and whether or not it’s true, I think of it every time I look at the very unattractive red coffee table we’ve had in our living room for years and I can’t ever seem to get around to replacing…
In case you missed it: One man’s intense (insane?) quest for immortality // Your sweaters are garbage (The Atlantic gift link) // Have you seen Fair Play - the controversially buzzy new movie on Netflix? // Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour comes to a movie theater near you (NY Times gift link) // So. Many. Detectors.
It’s a privilege to be welcomed to your Inbox - thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend!
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My tip for home decor is the same as for fashion: spluge on a few key pieces and then mix it up with less expensive items. If you have a great wallpaper in your bedroom, you can get away with a cheap headboard from Amazon. No one will notice Target side tables if you use beautiful fabric for your curtains.
Fair Play is top of my to watch list!