How to Create a Happy, Cozy Home
the one thing I controversially do NOT have in my kitchen...
When flipping through the pages of design magazines like Elle Décor and House Beautiful, everything would be so fancy and wildly expensive that a jealous lump would lodge in my throat, and I promised myself I’d stop.
And so, when a video of actress Jennifer Garner’s house tour for Architectural Digest made the rounds recently, I hesitated to watch it.
But, to my surprise, when I finally did click play, instead of feeling covetous and irritable, I wanted to give Garner a hug!
It’s a lovely and impressive home, but what made me melt was what she said at the end of the video:
I’m such a private person but I’ve just taken you through my entire house. And really, it’s for a couple of reasons. I am so proud of it. I am filled with gratitude every time I walk into my house. That I get to live here. That I’m so lucky to get to have my kids here. It’s unlike me, and yet, I’m so happy to have shared it with you.
As Garner described how she worked with designers to create a home just right for her family, she wasn’t pointing out high ceilings or gleaming kitchen appliances. With infectious joy, she highlighted the things most important to her and her children: spaces to host family and friends for sleepovers, class parties, and game nights; a kitchen where she can cook and bake for her kids (with a designated spot for chocolate chips!); cozy nooks to snuggle, read, and chat; and a backyard orchard that provides healthy snacks.
Her delight in her home renewed my gratitude for my own house and reminded me how good a home makes you feel when it’s filled with things and people (and pets) you love. The house I grew up in was modern and stylish—light-filled and open-plan—but it lacked soft, cozy spots for hanging out with friends and private spaces for sneaking away with a book. I promised myself that my “grown-up” house would have a big squishy sofa, lots of bookshelves, and fireplaces and that I’d make it a place where my kids and their friends would love spending time.
Today, inspired by the marvelous Jennifer Garner, I’m sharing what I love about my home, and in particular, the things that make it feel like a cozy sanctuary for our family of four humans and two dogs. While I don’t have a baking area, I too love fireplaces—and have a fondness for anything that makes my house more organized and efficient—because I can’t relax when I can’t find things and there’s clutter everywhere…
I’d love to know what you’re grateful for and love most about your home—and especially any tips and tricks to keep it feeling organized and comfortable! And if you have any questions about sources for things, you’re very welcome to reply to this email or ask me in the comments!
We live in the Hudson Valley, two hours north of New York City. Our house is on a dirt road surrounded by rolling hills, corn fields, and dairy and horse farms. Our first visit was just after a big winter snowstorm, and my husband, Jim, and I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was.
We waited five years before renovating. We loved that the original house had many small rooms, but as our children (and their friends) grew, we wanted more space—so we enlarged our kitchen and added a covered porch and family room.
Our kitchen has a wonderful view of the valley below us, so to make the most of that, we don’t have any upper cabinets. Everything is stored below the counters or in the drawers of the kitchen island, and I love how easy it is to reach things (and load and unload the dishwasher!). The paint color is Stingray by Benjamin Moore (it’s also on the walls of our bedroom), and I am obsessed with the way it subtly changes color with the light.
Controversially, I didn’t want counter stools in our kitchen. When we lived in city apartments, I was always standing during meals while the kids sat at the counter like they were my customers. So, in this house, we have a round zinc-topped table in a breakfast room just off the kitchen, and I like that when we eat, we’re all facing each other across the table. (There’s a picture of the breakfast room just below).
The kitchen already had a fireplace, and in the renovation, we added log storage in the wall next to it, which keeps the narrow area uncluttered.
I store wooden cutting and serving boards in a basket at the end of the kitchen island because I read that Queen Ina does this. Another idea I stole from her: keeping a basket under the kitchen island for dirty napkins, tablecloths, and dish towels (and the occasional pair of socks)!
A frequent house guest suggested it would be nice to have a dedicated area for making coffee and tea, so that’s something we added in our renovation. For tea, we have an electric kettle (it’s the best!), and instead of a matching set, we have random mugs that we collect on trips or people give us as gifts. It’s fun picking out a mug to match your mood!
A top priority for our family room was ceilings high enough to fit an enormous Christmas tree. Even though the kids now sleep late on Christmas morning, and their gifts aren’t super surprising, we all love spending the month of December gazing at a ridiculously oversized decorated tree.
I also got the sofa of my childhood dreams: it’s extra long and covered in a soft “performance” velvet in a mushroom color and it’s where we chat and read and watch TV.
Years ago, I read about the English country house trick of mixing checks, florals, and stripes to give a room warmth, and I use this idea all over the house: in this room, the bookshelves are lined in a red ticking stripe fabric, and there are floral and checked pillows everywhere.
For extra snuggles, I keep a basket filled with sheepskins and washable wool blankets behind the sofa.
Just off the family room is everyone’s favorite room, which we grandly call “The Library.” The walls and ceiling are lined with pine from the property, there are bookshelves all the way around, and a fireplace. It’s a small asymmetrical room, but people gravitate to it because it’s dark and quiet and feels like a warm hug.
The large vintage carpet covered ottoman is excellent for laying out board games, and we have a little bar set up in the corner that’s not pictured. It feels great when there are lots of people crammed in, sitting on the floor, or extra chairs grabbed from other rooms.
I feel strongly that lampshades should not be white! This is another English decorating trick to soften the light and add color and pattern to a room.
It’s not easy to find nice shades (I fantasize about opening a lampshade store!) and they’re expensive, but I’ve gradually replaced the shades on most of our lamps and sconces. My favorite sources are Newport Lamp and Shade, Bunny Williams Home and One Kings Lane.
Last year, our Christmas gift to our dogs, Ollie and Sandy, was an oil painting of the two of them! I got the idea from a post on Big Salad where an artist had a gallery wall of pets. The painting presides over our breakfast room, where we eat most of our meals, I write during the day, and homework gets done.
In addition to pictures of family and friends, we love to frame personal things—from tennis and squash rackets to our wedding invitation, restaurant menus, and thank you letters—it’s lovely to look around and see reminders of happy times and people we love on the walls. In our kitchen, a family heirloom pocket watch hangs in a frame just under our cuckoo clock, which chirps cheerfully on the hour, every hour!
Each year, for my husband’s birthday, I give him a framed New Yorker cartoon that symbolizes something that’s happened that year. These are a few favorites—we’ve been hanging them in our powder room, which provides entertainment for guests, but our collection is now outgrowing the tiny room!
One of the best things we did in our renovation was add an outdoor fireplace. I firmly believe that gazing into, and being warmed by a woodfire, is a cure for almost anything. The fireplace is just off our family room and is surrounded by oak trees. Sitting by the fire as the sun sets over the valley is a magical experience, and this has become a favorite spot for toasting s’mores all year round!
📨 I’m thrilled that this week’s link list was curated by Aja Frost of Platonic Love, a twice-weekly newsletter by two friends (Aja and Aliza) who cover everything from the anxiety and joy of making friends as adults to motherhood, and how to make a great toast (I have referred to these tips more than once!). They’re both thoughtful and wise, and I learn something from each issue—including how to use Reddit!
Take it away, Aja:
I was fascinated by this deep-dive into two chains battling it out to become Shake Shack for tacos. (Texas Monthly is such an underrated source for long-form journalism!) // So heartwarming: 13 SoCal residents on why they love their age-gap friendships // Muji opens an Airbnb on the art island of Teshima in Japan. My fiance and I went to this island a few years ago; it’s one of our favorite places in the world // Chat podcasts are taking over the medium, again // Loved Violet Witchel’s guide to how gluten-free people should act (she’s GF herself.) // This is important: The theory that men evolved to hunt and women to gather is wrong // Traveling without infuriating the locals. // Ooh, fun. // Would love to try an heirloom watermelon. One day! 🍉
That’s it for me! Thank you for reading—and for visiting my home—and I’ll see you next Friday! xo Amelia
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Thank you for sharing your beautiful home with us! It looks like such a lovely sanctuary!
The house tour we’ve been waiting for!! So gorgeous and welcoming. And thank you for letting me share some links ☺️