Gretchen Rubin calls habits “the invisible architecture of daily life”—and she’s right. They make up 40% of our time, and mastering the art of good habits is life-changing.
When I was younger, I believed that accomplishing impressive things required willpower and discipline, and that pain and anguish were part of the process. But in my fifties, I’ve learned that when it comes to building new routines, a far more successful (and happier) approach is to pay attention to my feelings and preferences and to kindly and gently establish habits that support my goals.
Here are the cozy, quirky, and scientifically proven strategies I swear by for making new habits stick…
1. Make it teeny tiny.
The easiest way to start a new habit is to break it down into the smallest possible, quickest step. Even my laziest, most procrastination-prone inner self will agree to do something for a few minutes: my decade-plus meditation practice began with just two minutes each day.
2. Swap bad for good!
I love the “check-in” habit in this piece about strengthening friendships: “when I go to open social media on my phone I will instead look through and send a handful of checking-in and hello texts to people I haven’t been in touch with for awhile.” I started water coloring this way: instead of zoning out on my phone after dinner each evening, I paint.
3. Make it painless.
I dislike riding the Peloton, but it’s the best way for me to get cardio in the winter: to make it as easy and pleasant as possible, I wear my pajamas while working out (I also dislike tight exercise clothes!) and watch an absorbing TV show. Similarly, I stick to my meditation routine because it’s extremely comfortable: I meditate lying flat in bed.
4. Track it.
Behavioral scientists have repeatedly proven that tracking behavior, whether it’s exercise, diet, studying, or managing an illness, makes people more likely to stick with it. I have used this method (simply making a daily note on a piece of paper) to manage my weight, spending, and alcohol consumption.
5. Make it social.
Creating accountability, either by texting a friend each time you complete your practice—or forming a group to do it together—is a proven (fun!) way to ensure good habits endure. Playing racquet sports with friends makes exercise something I can’t wait to do!
6. Stack it.
Our brains love automation: adding a new habit to an established routine (especially a pleasurable one) is an easy way to change behavior. I keep my vitamins next to the tea-making ingredients to ensure I take them every morning, and I do my daily set of squats in the shower!
7. Expect imperfection.
It is virtually impossible to adhere to routines while traveling, or during illness or crises. But all is not lost because of a day or a week off—the key is to be accepting and forgiving during disruptions: you are not a failure! When possible, do the bare minimum to avoid entirely abandoning your routines (5 minutes a day counts!), and devise a gentle and realistic plan to ease back in when life settles down.
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I also work out in my pjs! On the elliptical, while watching a show. It feels like a mini-rebellion, I think. Working out feels like I HAVE TO, so doing it in my pjs feels like not such a huge deal.
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