Introducing...
I believe that our lives as women and mothers are made up of three categories of things to do:
The Musts
The Meaningful
The Shoulds
These categories can crossover and get muddled with each other, because that’s how life works; but it is possible to analyze and categorize the activities that you fill your days with. Everyone’s Musts, Shoulds, and Meaningfuls are different. Here are the guidelines to help you find yours.
The Musts are the things we need to do to take care of ourselves, our families, pets, and homes – they are the basics, they’re often mundane, and very often we don’t enjoy a lot of this work. It’s possible to enjoy some musts; but no matter how you feel about them, they must be done!
Examples are: earning money, taking care of children and other family members, grocery shopping, preparing meals, cleaning, taking care of pets, getting regular exercise and sleep, going to medical and dental check-ups, household repairs and maintenance.
The Shoulds are errands, tasks, and activities that we engage in not because we strictly must, but because we feel that we should. We tend to do these things to prove to ourselves and others that we are being a “good” mother, daughter, sister, friend, wife, colleague, or person. The shoulds can be tricky to find because they often feel so important that they masquerade as musts.
It’s not a should if you love doing it.
It is a should if it both makes you feel bad and is not necessary for your life’s happiness or the care and feeding of people or animals you are responsible for.
Quite simply: you don't enjoy it and it's optional. If you faced a sudden crisis, it would be immediately canceled or forgotten…
The Meaningful category is what makes life worth living! These people, places and activities align directly with our priorities in life; they make us feel glad to be alive; they bring happiness, joy, and delight. They can also be deeply challenging and cause us to learn a lot. We often wish we could spend more time being with them or doing them, and when we are, time seems to fly.
Sometimes we complain about never having enough time to spend doing these things because we are so busy. I believe that spending more time on these activities, in these places, with these people, is the key to creating a truly happy and well-lived life. This is what you want people to talk about at your funeral: the things you accomplished, the lives you touched, the values you embodied.