Living Inside a Movie...
a happiness hack that evinces a surprising amount of joy on a regular basis for zero, or next-to-zero dollars!
Wearing a cream cashmere sweater, I sit at an immaculately neat desk adorned with scented candles, fresh flowers, sharpened pencils, and a gleaming silver laptop. Logs crackle in the fireplace, cocktail jazz plays softly, and I smile, occasionally pausing to glance out the window at the sparkling blue waves crashing onto pristine golden sands, framed by gauzy white curtains, while my fingers fly over the keyboard, typing brilliantly witty prose…
OK, so I’m not actually looking at crashing waves, writing brilliant prose, or even wearing a cream cashmere sweater; but there is a fire crackling in the fireplace, fresh flowers, and a scented candle on my medium-messy desk; I’m listening to a Madeleine Peyroux playlist, and there’s a soft blanket draped over my shoulders as I type, and I feel warm, cozy, and happy.
I’m doing something I call Living Inside a Movie and it’s one of my favorite happiness hacks: a strategy that evinces a surprising amount of joy on a regular basis for zero, or next-to-zero dollars.
It all started years ago when I noticed that certain movies (When Harry Met Sally, High Society, Sleepless in Seattle, La La Land, Home Alone, Love Actually, Funny Face, Something’s Gotta Give, and Father of the Bride) made me feel so good that I never wanted them to end.
Was it the storylines? The happy endings?
After some seriously enjoyable research (hours spent watching movies!) I realized there were two types of vibes those movies evoked that I wanted more of in my life: warm, cozy, and comforting; and something I think of as casual glamor.
The warm, cozy, comforting feelings were conjured by scenes where characters perused the shelves of bookstores; drank tea from pretty teapots cozied up in bed or in front of roaring fireplaces wearing as much soft, neutral-colored cashmere as humanly possible; where candles and lamps created a soft flattering glow; when someone baked a cake or made a hearty stew; or strolled through parks or along beaches during the fall or winter…
I got the casual glamor feelings during party scenes when people swanned around wearing flattering dresses or immaculately pressed linen, holding a wine glass, in beautiful gardens, restaurants, or homes during golden hour with live jazz playing; or when I watched someone set a beautiful table replete with candles, flowers, fabric napkins, and lovely china; and when characters gathered around such a table laughing together…
As an inveterate list-maker, the next order of business was to write this all down on a list I catchily titled, Living Inside a Movie.
Then I looked for ways to add these things to my life.
It was surprisingly easy! I found playlists inspired by my favorite movies that I could listen to any time; I made a point of popping into bookstores and walking through parks whenever possible; I bought a pair of cashmere socks and wore them around the house; I occasionally relocated my workspace to my bed, taking my laptop and notebook and making a warm nest of blankets; I used a teapot to make tea; I lit lamps and candles each afternoon; I made a point of looking at the sunset while enjoying a glass of wine, even if I was just in my own kitchen; and set a beautiful table every now and again, just because!
I also made a list of places that gave me the movie feelings: certain restaurants and bars, Central Park (of course!), my favorite stores, movie theaters, and museums, and other places, like cobblestone streets in downtown Manhattan, tree-lined country lanes, and the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. When making plans with friends, and for work meetings, I suggested places that were on my list.
It all added up to a lot of extra daily happiness for not a lot of effort or money. For a mood boost, I could check my list to see what could be added to that particular day.
But until last week, I had not given any thought as to why, exactly, Living Inside a Movie works so well.
I was at a conference for romance writers when Sarah MacLean, a bestselling novelist, explained one of the tricks that leads to engaging and addictive stories: they are filled with something known as “Id Content.” The term was invented by Dr. Jennifer Barnes, another bestselling writer, and is based on the Freudian principle that humans are motivated by the pursuit of pleasure and avoidance of pain.
During her presentation, MacLean explained that Id Content evokes strong emotions in readers and can be broadly categorized as beauty, power, wealth, competition, touch, and danger. In romance novels, these are exemplified by dashing dukes, blushing ingenues, crumbly stone towers, mystery babies, mistaken identities, babbling brooks, duels to the death by sword…
MacLean noted that everyone has Id Content that makes us feel happy, warm, comfortable, excited, inspired, and joyful – and she advised writers to fill stories with as much of that content as possible, to create good feelings in readers.
I recognized what she was talking about immediately: the Living Inside a Movie list is my very own Id Content.
The day after the conference, I attended an event that included a screening of It’s Complicated, which, like every Nancy Meyers movie, contains oodles of my Id Content. In those movies, the interiors of homes make up another category – the furnishings are neutral but textured and look invitingly comfortable; the kitchens are well-loved and filled with baked goods, fresh flowers, and bowls of fruit and veggies. There are vegetable gardens, overstuffed bookshelves, cozy window seats, and fireplaces galore. So. Much. Id!
I’m now hyper-aware of these details in books, movies, and TV shows, and my Living Inside a Movie list is expanding exponentially; and I’m curious, would you ever make a Living Inside a Movie List? And if so, what would be on it?! I’d love to know!
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend!
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i am totally stealing this idea to keep a list of beautiful places where i can meet people in the city! what was on your manhattan list? (i love to go to ABCV and ABC Kitchen)
Yes I watched it when I was in seminary as some of my fellow students said I was an airhead. 😡