“It’s such a crazy time of year, isn’t it?” My friend said last week as we ate lunch at our local diner. I hesitated, weighing whether to reply honestly or say the thing every woman says at this time of year, “Oh yes! Things are nuts! I can’t believe how much we’ve got on!”
Instead, I took a deep breath and said, “You know, I don’t feel overwhelmed! I’ve stopped doing the Christmas-related stuff that felt like a waste of my time, and I don’t go to every party. It feels weird to say it, but I’m feeling pretty good!”
For years, I exhausted myself making Christmas magic for my family. As the self-appointed Ringleader of Christmas Cheer, I orchestrated things my kids (now 14 and 18) only vaguely remember: visiting the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, ice-skating in Bryant Park, going to performances of The Nutcracker AND Radio City Rockettes, taking pictures with Santa, finding creative locations for the Elf on the Shelf, hiding Christmas presents and wrapping them in a late-night frenzy on Christmas Eve, baking and decorating cookies, attending Christmas Pageant practices, forcing my children into fancy (uncomfortable) clothes for parties, and producing and mailing our family holiday card to friends and relatives all over the world.
With all this activity, my kids would become increasingly unhinged, as their avid anticipation of Santa’s imminent arrival, combined with excessive sugar intake, interfered with their sleep, leaving them moody and unruly. If you had told me back then that in just a few years, on the morning of Christmas all through the house, not a creature would stir (not even a mouse) until well after 9 am, I wouldn’t have believed you!
While I cherish the memories (and pictures) we have of those magic-filled little kid years, I love the teenage phase, too.
Ever since the great unmasking of Santa (and the Elf), our entire family participates in our Christmas rituals, and it certainly feels more magical for me—we’ve stopped doing things that became more work than fun but kept the things we care about: Jim handles our holiday card mailing; I decorate the Christmas tree; we make Egg Nog and the cookies we like best, which don’t require baking (see below!); the kids help buy and wrap gifts, and we don’t force them to attend parties they don’t want to go to.
I felt weird lying to the children about Santa Claus and the Elf on the Shelf while teaching them to be honest, but no permanent damage was done. In fact, one of my happiest parenting memories is of the appreciation evident on Sadie’s face when she turned to Jim and me and said, “So you guys have been buying all the presents for us every year? Not Santa? Wow! Thank you!”
Starting tomorrow, my children will both be on vacation from school. When they were small, that two-week stretch filled me with dread: they got up before sunrise and needed lots of scheduled activities to stay busy. Now, Sadie and Teddy sleep in, arrange get-togethers with friends, freely avail themselves of snacks, and leave impressive trails of detritus (mugs, shoes, dirty socks) all through the house…
I have been looking forward to this break in our routine for months. We’re not traveling, and I’ve christened this my High-Low Winter Staycation because while I love lazing around in sweatpants, I also like a little luxury and glamor!
Of course, the most important rule for a staycation is that chores and errands must be reduced to the bare minimum to keep the household functioning. To give myself the permission I need to enjoy myself at home instead of feeling like I should attack my to-do list, I made a checklist…
Turn off my alarm. I’m a morning person and usually set my alarm to wake up an hour before the rest of my family, but for my staycation, I will throw caution to the wind and embrace the freedom of no pressing early-morning obligations!
Set a fancy, festive table! Faffing around with tablecloths, napkins, candles, and flowers always makes me feel creative.
Snuggle with Sandy, our aging dog. At nearly 15, she’s slowing down…
Make our cold-weather family favorites. Egg Nog, Wreath Cookies, Pavlova, Sunday Sauce, Slow-Roasted Beef Tenderloin, Chicken Confit, Mashed Potatoes, and Crispy Brussels Sprouts are all on the list.
Get a manicure and pedicure. I’m usually in too much of a rush to get both.
Be grateful for something each day. I find the cold and darkness of winter difficult, plus it can be hard to stay home when other people are on glamorous vacations. One of my goals for 2025 is to institute a gratitude practice that works for me, and that starts now.
Pick a favorite TV show and rewatch every season. I’m thinking about The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Veep, Fleabag, or 30 Rock. Maybe I’ll leaf through some fashion and design magazines while watching…
Have a High-Low New Year’s Eve. We’re celebrating at home with house guests. The (unofficial) dress code is “Sweatpants and Sparkles,” and the plan includes spending the last hours of daylight in 2024 having drinks and snacks outside around our firepit, followed by a cozy fireside dinner of fancy things like Caviar and Champagne and comfort food like this Slow Cooker Braised Pork.
Embrace the joy of Christmas-related clutter. I typically get cranky around discarded wrapping paper and other gift-related detritus, but this year I will remind myself how lucky we are to give and receive gifts (and that I can tidy it all away when real life resumes!)
Read a book in bed. Spend an entire day reading, ideally in bed, while eating my favorite chocolates. On my list are several books from Elizabeth Held’s best of 2024 reading list: How to Solve Your Own Murder, Shakespeare Was a Woman and Other Heresies, A Quantum Love Story, Hotel of Secrets, plus Circe, which I’ve been meaning to read forever.
See a film (or two) at our local theater. Snack on popcorn while watching Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan in A Complete Unknown and Nicole Kidman in Babygirl.
Try out some new recipes. My husband, Jim, wants to use the rotisserie on our grill to cook a prime rib, Sadie (18) wants to make granola, and I’d like to try this Holiday Rocky Road!
Dress up for The Nutcracker at Lincoln Center. It’s an annual tradition for Sadie and me to sip Champagne and people-watch at the beloved New York City ballet.
Savor golden hour. Even if the day is grey, I’ve noticed the clouds tend to part just before sunset, so I’m planning to mark the last hour of daylight with a drink each afternoon.
Invite friends over for last-minute drinks! I’m inspired by legendary British decorator Nicky Haslam, who recommends the “last-minute soirée.” “It’s friendlier, and you don’t spend time worrying about whether or not it’ll work or whether people will be able to come…”
Watch movies in front of a roaring fire. Luxury, to me, is lighting a fire in the morning and keeping it going all day. I will wear pajamas, suspend my usual rules, and eat meals on my lap in front of the TV. If there’s nothing new to watch, I’ll return to some of my favorites, like Funny Face, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Sleepless in Seattle, Heartburn, Love Story, The Royal Tenenbaums, and High Society.
Update My Happiness Checklist for 2025. Spend time thinking and writing about everything I’ve learned this year about how to live a happy, joyful life.
🎄 What are you planning to do, or looking forward to, during the coming weeks? Are you staycationing or going somewhere exotic?!
🎁 There’s still time to comment on last week’s post for the chance to win your very own framed Ideal Bookshelf. I will draw and notify the winner between 5 pm-6 pm EST today.
How to Be the Happiest Mother on the Block. Good mother vs. should mother.
Checking in for Happier Family Travel. The one thing I do before every trip.
The Serious Benefits of Fun. How to feel happier every day by adding play and laughter to your routine.
Looking for something good to read or watch?
My December recommendations include two very bingeable Christmas-themed thrillers and my favorite festive playlists.
💌 Thank you so much for reading! Creating and writing each weekly dispatch is a joy for me, and I am so grateful that you’re here reading along! I’ll be back in January with more ideas and inspiration for a happy, well-lived life, plus a new name for this newsletter!! xo Amelia
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Have a lovely break 🎄
This is a great reminder, and I LOVE all your ideas for the cosiest staycation! I am exhausted from ensuring the holiday cheer is felt around the house.