Some Happy Scribbles...

bids

Hello and happy Friday!

First, a heartfelt thank you to everyone who reached out to me, and Jim, since last week. Hearing from friends, and talking about all the big topics - life, death, illness, aging, and grief - has been very meaningful. I must admit that I did hesitate before I hit send last week - I wasn’t sure about sharing personal news in this format - and so this piece about “oversharing hangovers” and how it’s very common to feel some regret after being vulnerable, felt very timely.

Fall weather has definitely arrived here, and the temperature is perfect for sleeping with the windows open - bracing but not freezing - and the crisp clear days are giving me a serious urge to bake. These cinnamon-baked donuts are a perennial favorite at our house: they’re easy, fast, healthier than fried, and delicious. If you’re going to make them, know that you will need a donut baking tray - I ordered mine from Amazon, and we also have a donut hole pan, which the kids love. You can also make an extra batch and freeze them; when you’re ready to serve them, just dip the thawed donuts in the melted butter and cinnamon sugar and they’ll taste like they were just baked!

This Legacy of Lauren Canyon playlist has mellow throwback 70’s vibes and feels just right for the season. It includes Suite Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby, Stills & Nash, which may contain my favorite riff of all time - the “do-do-do-dee-do” bit toward the end. I feel strongly that this is the perfect soundtrack for a movie montage of life’s best moments, so I used it in an Instagram post this week! On the topic of theme songs for life, how great is this playlist: It’s the 90’s and you’re the leading lady in a nora ephron rom-com?!

On the real life rom-com front, Jim and I are going to a wedding in Minneapolis this weekend, and while I always love going to weddings, I’m especially looking forward to this one, because at this stage in our lives, it seems we’re down to an average of only one wedding a year.

Funnily enough, the main character in the novel I’m working on also happens to love weddings (write what you know!) and so for inspiration and procrastination purposes, and because I truly believe watching a wedding movie is always a good idea, I compiled a very subjective list of the best wedding movies ever - you can find it here if you’re interested! Related: because my novel has taken a turn for the romantic, I’ve been reading all the modern romance novels I can get my hands on - recently this has included everything by Jasmine Guillory - a former lawyer turned romance novelist who was profiled in the NY Times this week. I’m currently in the middle of By the Book, a reimagining of Beauty and the Beast.

One of my favorite things about weddings is the feeling of love emanating from the happy couple and circulating around to everyone else - it reminds me of falling in love with Jim, how much fun our wedding was, and generally makes me appreciate all the good things about being married.

Which brings me to a new book that promises a happier marriage in 7 days! The Love Prescription is by the married doctors, John and Julie Gottman, who are known for their best-selling books about relationships, their “Love Lab” at the University of Washington in Seattle, and possibly most famously, their assertion that they can accurately predict, within 15 minutes, whether a couple’s marriage will end in divorce. I listened to the Gottman’s talking to Brene Brown on her podcast this week - she is planning to do two more episodes on the book. So if you (like my friend, Lindsay) just want the takeaways from the book, you could skip reading it and just listen to the podcast series.

One of the examples the Gottmans described was a situation where one partner tells the other, “Hey, look at that beautiful bluebird outside the window!” and the other partner ignores them. The Gottmans say these tiny interactions are the things that can make or break relationships - they call them “bids” for connection; and they say that a simple way to improve the quality of a marriage is to “turn toward” those bids, giving your partner your full attention, even for just a couple of seconds, by saying something like, “Oh, wow, yes that is a big bluebird!”

I listened to the podcast, my face burning, because this exact bird talk thing happens on a regular basis with me and Jim, and instead of “turning toward” I often act all huffy that he’s interrupting whatever I’m doing. The Gottmans call that “turning away” and it’s bad. Good to know! The book is short, so I’m going to speed-read it and become a better wife / person!

Speaking of being a good person, have you heard of grand-mates? Apparently, it’s the new phenomenon of 20-and-30-something grandchildren moving in with their grandparents. How adorable is this quote from 90-year-old June:

“My granddaughter moving in with me means I’m not alone,” she said. “Even though she sleeps until 11 and goes to work at noon, the fact is, she’s here. Because I’m not 100 percent OK in terms of my health, that’s a good thing.”

On the TV-viewing front, I’m still biting my nails while watching The Patient - it is so good, but also horrifying - and laughing along with Sharon Horgan and her band of Bad Sisters. For the plane rides this weekend, I’ve downloaded Do Revenge, which seems to be inspired by a bunch of dark comedies like Heathers and Cruel Intentions and has Sarah Michelle Gellar playing a high school headmistress.

I also can’t wait to see Don’t Worry, Darling at my local moviehouse - there has been so much talk about it, I’ve got to see it!

That’s it for me today - I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Thank you so much for reading, sharing, sending me comments, and subscribing - I have so much fun (and very little regret!) writing this each week - and I love hearing from you.

xoxo
Amelia

P.S.: If you love Suite Judy Blue Eyes too, this version is pretty good:

…and who knew (not me!) there was a Weird Al Yankovic (he’s still around!!) version of the song that sends up corporate-babble?!