The One Thing Every Home Needs

hint: it's not a flatscreen tv!

Oct 20, 2023

Something my mother-in-law said to me nearly two decades ago has stayed with me…

“It’s always nice to have a baby around the house!”

I’ll admit, when I first heard this as a young mother, I didn’t get it. At the time, overwhelmed with the pressure of taking care of little children, I failed to notice how much warmer and happier my home was with them in it.

But now that my kids are in their teens, I know exactly what my wise mother-in-law meant. Oh, the pleasure of snuggling on a sofa with a squishy, sweet-smelling baby! They stare into your eyes with unabashed curiosity, command your attention, and force you to slow down. And they exude joy: when my oldest child was born, a friend whose twin babies were two told Jim and me that his favorite part of parenting was walking into his girls’ room to get them up from a nap - because their tiny faces lit up like it was Christmas morning every time.

Is it weird that I’m looking forward to becoming a grandmother when my oldest child is only 17?!

With no babies around our house, it’s our dogs who greet me like I’m a celebrity when I wake up and arrive home, even if I’m only gone for five minutes. And I’ll never forget the warmth and safety I felt as a little girl at bedtime, when Peachy, our tabby cat, slept with her body curved around my legs.

Another fond childhood memory is my grandmother’s 5 p.m. ritual. It began with this formal-sounding announcement, “It’s time for my After Fives!” which meant putting on her nightgown and robe, then settling into her favorite armchair to sip a small glass of Sherry and watch The Wheel of Fortune. Just thinking about Grandy’s evening routine makes me feel happy and warm inside.

In just a few years there won’t be any kids living in my house, and I’m already thinking about how to entice them (plus their friends, future partners, and maybe babies!!!) back. My strategy? Make our house as comfortable and cozy as possible.

Here are some of my favorite ways to do that…

Personalize your décor with things that are “you.” It’s fun to frame personal things – not just art. Our framed collection includes vintage tennis and squash rackets, menus from restaurants where we’ve celebrated special occasions, New Yorker cartoons, tea towels, holiday cards, and thank-you notes. Guests love discovering – and asking about - these bits and pieces. For all the bookworms reading this: books can be used to decorate, too! A stack of books is often the answer to a style conundrum – they can be used to raise or even things up (I do this for lamps - see pic below) and generally add color and interest. Every room feels better with books in it!
While I’m on the topic of books, my favorite decorating books to leaf through for inspiration (and display on coffee tables) are Tom Scheerer Decorates; The Great American House by Gil Schafer; A Living Space by Kit Kemp; and Love Where You Live: At Home In The Country by Joan Osofsky, the genius behind one of my favorite home furnishing and accessories stores, Hammertown Barn.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a woodburning fireplace is the ultimate cozifier. A friend once told me that whenever she and her husband go house-hunting, he immediately wants to buy any house that has a fireplace. I feel the same way! But all is not lost if you don’t have one: flickering candles (scented or not) are the next best thing.
Add some living things! When you look closely, most of the beautifully styled rooms in glossy magazines include fresh flowers or live plants. You don’t have to do much: arranging flowers can stress me out and I cannot keep indoor plants alive, so I’ll often just put one flower in a tiny vase. A bowl of lemons, limes, or apples also livens up a room; as does a glass filled with fresh herbs.
Music is key to creating the right mood. We have Sonos speakers in every room in the house – and outside, too. I play certain music at certain times: on weekday mornings it’s always Bach’s Goldberg Variations; later, when I’m making dinner, I turn on something a little more zippy, like this or this.
Soft textures, warm colors, and a little glow equal cozy. A basket filled with throw blankets in your living room is essential for promoting sofa snuggles; for a more flattering glow, swap standard white paper lampshades for printed or colored ones so that lamps look better when on and off; and cover your tissue boxes! Naked cardboard tissue boxes are depressing while covered ones have style, panache, and personality (see below)!

An organized home is a comfortable home. Another trick I’ve learned from poring over decorating books and Pinterest images: trays are essential! Every flat surface should have at least one to collect and display things or make messy piles look more organized. Similarly, pay attention to your trash cans! Invest in attractive ones if they are in rooms where they will be seen, like bedrooms, bathrooms, and offices.
Bedrooms should feel and smell good. Beds (and the people who sleep in them) are happier when they are dressed in the following: a fitted sheet, flat sheet, cotton blanket or coverlet, and duvet/comforter folded at the foot of the bed. The blanket or coverlet is essential: in the summer it’s all you need; and in the winter, that extra layer makes the bed feel extra warm and cozy. We switch from cotton/linen sheets in the spring and summer to flannel in the winter, which is wonderful except for the fact that soft flannel sheets make it very hard to get out of bed on cold mornings! Lavender oil is an excellent natural deodorizer and sleep aid. I buy little bottles at the pharmacy and sprinkle drops in our bedrooms every now and again, and in the guest room before visitors come to stay.

Finally, while there will always be lovely things to buy and clever ways to make a house feel cozier, it’s the inhabitants of a home – the beloved people and pets - who bring the greatest comfort and joy.

That’s my (admittedly very subjective) list. I’m sure I’m missing something! What would you add?

The One Thing Every Home Needs

hint: it's not a flatscreen tv!

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