A Nora Ephron-Approved Happiness Hack
plus: tattoo inspo, boy bands, and customer service for dogs!
I’ve long had a habit that drives other people (specifically my husband Jim) crazy: planning future meals while eating the current one.
For example, last Saturday morning, as I ate two soft-boiled eggs for breakfast, I tossed around ideas for lunch and dinner. Across the breakfast table, Jim listened, his features patiently perplexed, as I debated the merits of a BLT sandwich vs. Cobb salad for lunch, and whether grilled steak, roasted chicken, pizza, or something more adventurous would most match the weather and my mood at dinner time…
While my husband doesn’t understand my need to weigh whether a veggie-forward lunch would best be balanced by a red-meat-focused dinner, I’m in good company: Nora Ephron famously felt the same way, writing “I don't think any day is worth living without thinking about what you're going to eat next at all times.”
I’d love to ask Nora whether she approached the rest of her life the same way because my meal-planning routine is an example of a strategy I use in other aspects of my life, one that has been proven to maximize joy: ensuring I have a series of pleasurable things to anticipate.
Life really hums along when each ordinary day is punctuated with several small delights so that even when there’s nothing exciting on my calendar, Future Me has treats to look forward to.
I drift off to sleep looking forward to waking up and writing in my journal on a cozy sofa, a soft knitted blanket tucked around me, with a steaming hot cup of my favorite tea at hand; I work through the morning knowing a delicious lunch awaits; mid-afternoon is sweetened with a break for a handful of chocolate chips and reviving cup of peppermint tea; the evening begins when I play my favorite music and pour a drink into a pretty glass, and then there’s one final treat: climbing into bed with an engrossing book, accompanied by the symphonic snoring of our two dogs.
Things get really exciting when I’ve got a trip or special celebration on the horizon. Brainstorming and planning what I’m going to wear to parties and on vacations is one of my favorite thrills, producing almost as much pleasure as anticipating the event itself.
This outfit-planning-habit has resulted in bemused teasing from friends, who see it as an outgrowth of my Type A personality. And maybe, like my meal-planning, it is. But having things to look forward to – big and small – contributes meaningfully to my everyday happiness.
I’m curious: how do you cultivate the joy of anticipation? As the weather warms and the end of the school year is nigh, I’m looking forward to the switch to a looser schedule for our family (quiet mornings with more time for me to write!), and long-planned summer trips. What big or small things are you looking forward to right now?
📖 Funny Story: Emily Henry’s latest romance novel is set during summertime in a lakeside Michigan town, where our heroine, Daphne, is unceremoniously dumped by her fiancee who belatedly discovers he’s in love with his longtime female best friend. Homeless, friendless, and pining for her mother, Daphne readies herself to leave town and start over, while finding herself attracted to her ex-fiance’s new fiancee’s ex-fiance. Yes, you read that right. I always love Henry’s clever writing and in this book, I particularly enjoyed the delicious summer romance vibes and the heartwarming emphasis on the importance of friendships.
📺 Hacks: I am thrilled that Hacks is back while frustrated that I can’t binge Season 3 all at once. If you’re new to the show, go back to Season 1 to catch up on the story of Deborah Vance, comedy legend and sparkly Las Vegas stalwart, and her approach to work, relationships, and life. It is a true delight to watch an incredibly flawed, wildly talented, and deeply idiosyncratic woman figuring out how to reinvent her career and do better as a person, in her 70s. At the heart of the show is the complicated relationship between Deborah and Ava, a young writer who works for Deborah, as they both struggle to define and manage their conflicting feelings about each other. I’m in pre-mourning for the end of this season: it’s the rare TV show that delivers deep emotional truths and belly laughs.
🎧 So Into That with Caro Chambers: I was fascinated by
’ interview with Robinne Lee, the author of The Idea of You novel, which the movie starring Anne Hathaway is based on (I recommended it last week!). Lee details her background as a writer (she’s also an actress), how Duran Duran provided inspiration for the novel, how the book rose to bestseller status, and her mixed feelings about the movie adaptation. One thing Lee loves: the music created for the fictional boy band, August Moon. Inspired, I created a new playlist, which is heavy on my boy-band-era favorites, including Robbie Williams (plus the Spice Girls for balance) and a couple of August Moon songs, too. I’m listening to it as I write!📆 May 2024 Recs // 📖 Books // 📺 TV Shows // 🍿 Movies
In Case You Missed It: The Guardian is doing an informative series on how to have a healthy menopause // LOL: If dogs had a customer service line, “Are you calling from under the couch right now?”// Scary news for chocolate lovers // A beautiful profile on writer Suleika Jaouad, and how she’s living with cancer // How Mark Zuckerberg celebrated his 40th birthday // This piece, which compares the feelings evoked by mothering a grown-up daughter to nervous tween dating, made me laugh AND ripped my heart out: “At this point in our three-decade-long relationship, she has a greater influence on me than I do on her. And it is incontrovertible, a truth self-evident, that I need her more—far more—than she needs me.” // Dumbphones are making a comeback! // I want to join Amy Sedaris for a cup of tea in her adorably whimsical NYC apartment //
❤️Plus, two reader comments:
Says Jojo B on What To Drink When You’re Not Drinking, “I did about 6 months totally dry and since then have been on a “0-4 drinks a month” plan (only outside of the home, only on weekends, only if it feels additive to something that’s already fun — not to try to make something not fun fun).”
LOL: my interview with the delightful Anne Kadet about her routines and habits inspired Elizabeth Noble of Life, The Universe and Everything, to think about getting a new tattoo with Anne’s wise words: “Nothing feels as good as being under-scheduled.”
That’s it for me this week! Thank you for reading and see you next Friday! xo Amelia
Clicking the ❤️ button at the top or bottom of this email supports my work!❤️
🔔 Subscribe for free to receive weekly recommendations for books, TV shows, movies, and more; plus essays and how-to’s on adding happiness and meaning to every day.
so fun to hear your thoughts on a variety of topics!
This is such a juicy question about anticipation! I'm totally with you and Nora on the "anticipating the next meal" front. 😅
As you might guess, I've had to learn to balance the joys of anticipation with my own tendencies toward overplanning. Right now, that balance looks like the little herb garden I started recently: I definitely had to plot out the right container situation, the tools I needed, and what I wanted to plant. But now that that's done, I just enjoy waking up every day, watering them, and watching them grow.