A Nora Ephron-Approved Happiness Hack

the joy of ordinary days punctuated with small delights

May 17, 2024

I’ve long had a habit that drives other people (specifically my husband Jim) crazy: planning future meals while eating the current one.

For example, last Saturday morning, as I ate two soft-boiled eggs for breakfast, I tossed around ideas for lunch and dinner. Across the breakfast table, Jim listened, his features patiently perplexed, as I debated the merits of a BLT sandwich vs. Cobb salad for lunch, and whether grilled steak, roasted chicken, pizza, or something more adventurous would most match the weather and my mood at dinner time…

While my husband doesn’t understand my need to weigh whether a veggie-forward lunch would best be balanced by a red-meat-focused dinner, I’m in good company: Nora Ephron famously felt the same way, writing “I don't think any day is worth living without thinking about what you're going to eat next at all times.”

I’d love to ask Nora whether she approached the rest of her life the same way because my meal-planning routine is an example of a strategy I use in other aspects of my life, one that has been proven to maximize joy: ensuring I have a series of pleasurable things to anticipate.

Life really hums along when each ordinary day is punctuated with several small delights so that even when there’s nothing exciting on my calendar, Future Me has treats to look forward to.

I drift off to sleep looking forward to waking up and writing in my journal on a cozy sofa, a soft knitted blanket tucked around me, with a steaming hot cup of my favorite tea at hand; I work through the morning knowing a delicious lunch awaits; mid-afternoon is sweetened with a break for a handful of chocolate chips and reviving cup of peppermint tea; the evening begins when I play my favorite music and pour a drink into a pretty glass, and then there’s one final treat: climbing into bed with an engrossing book, accompanied by the symphonic snoring of our two dogs.

Things get really exciting when I’ve got a trip or special celebration on the horizon. Brainstorming and planning what I’m going to wear to parties and on vacations is one of my favorite thrills, producing almost as much pleasure as anticipating the event itself.

This outfit-planning-habit has resulted in bemused teasing from friends, who see it as an outgrowth of my Type A personality. And maybe, like my meal-planning, it is. But having things to look forward to – big and small – contributes meaningfully to my everyday happiness.

I’m curious: how do you cultivate the joy of anticipation? As the weather warms and the end of the school year is nigh, I’m looking forward to the switch to a looser schedule for our family (quiet mornings with more time for me to write!), and long-planned summer trips. What big or small things are you looking forward to right now?

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