I like the parenting tip! One of the reasons I don’t like to go for coffee is the dread of sitting across from someone. It feels like you’re on a job interview. I’ll suggest a walk or the counter. Thank-you! ✨
Last year I attended a meetup for one of my hobbies. I had so much fun and even though I am about 20 years younger than the rest of the group, I really look forward to our monthly meetings.
For someone who gets nervous with eye contact, putting this as a tip is perfect. I'm more at ease with playdates at the playground and it makes a lot of sense why.
Someone else said that they made new friends this summer at golf lessons, which also makes sense to me - lots of walking, talking, and something active to focus on!
This came at a really opportune time for me, as one of my closest friends that I've made as an adult is moving across the country and I'm mourning the loss. This gives me hope that we might be able to keep the friendship in tact - but it will take a different kind of work.
oh gosh, losing a close friend to a move is rough. I've been on both ends. next week, I'm going to write about some of the things I've learned about staying in touch long distance and keeping those friendships alive -it's hard work but so worthwhile.
Great observations and tips. For me, the best conversations I've had with people I just met were during hikes. As you mentioned, it’s easier to be yourself without direct eye contact, which can make people nervous. Walking helps everyone relax, and the conversation flows naturally without pressure.
Was just coming here to say the same thing! Amelia, your 1-2 year timeline for acquaintances/close friends is so helpful to hear, because I’m always out here like “What do you mean this process doesn’t happen instantaneously?!” 🙈
I had a strong acquaintance who I started going on walks with after school drop off ~once a week like 1.5 years ago and 1.5 years into that habit she’s a VERY good friend. So yeah. That timeline is right! (Also illustrates MANY of your points, haha.)
I’ve found being vulnerable but direct can be really helpful! I’ll admit to the challenges of making friends as an adult but tell that person I’d really like to get to know them better and work to become friends. Sometimes say the intentionality out loud helps everyone feel like they are working towards the same goal.
I’ve had a ton of success this summer taking up golfing and finding groups of women to play with and grow friendships from there. We end up walking & chatting and the secondary activity helps people be open without feeling uncomfortable. Walk and talks are such a good way to do an activity while revealing more of yourself and your personality!
Golf is a genius idea for making friends! The walking and talking and shared activity makes it so much easier to be with people casually! I'm so glad you had luck this summer!
Yesterday I made a new friend. Or I at least went on the initial Meetup with a potential new friend. I’m 45, and I even told he I’m out of practice and feel awkward. She admitted she was too. And we’ve made plans to Meetup again next week. This was a huge step for me and I’m glad I did it.
Abigail, that's so wonderful! It feels like such a big thing (to me, anyway) when I hang out with someone new and we both want to get together again! I want to hear how the next meet up goes!
I like the parenting tip! One of the reasons I don’t like to go for coffee is the dread of sitting across from someone. It feels like you’re on a job interview. I’ll suggest a walk or the counter. Thank-you! ✨
I feel the same way - it took me a long time to work out why I didn't like one-on-one coffee or lunch dates - its the intense eye contact!!
💯 #👀
Great article - great reminders.
thanks for reading Sal!
Last year I attended a meetup for one of my hobbies. I had so much fun and even though I am about 20 years younger than the rest of the group, I really look forward to our monthly meetings.
that is so great! I think regularly scheduled get-togethers are key to maintaining and deepening friendships
Tip #5 is SO CLEVER
it is just so much easier to talk to people when you're not directly facing them!
For someone who gets nervous with eye contact, putting this as a tip is perfect. I'm more at ease with playdates at the playground and it makes a lot of sense why.
Someone else said that they made new friends this summer at golf lessons, which also makes sense to me - lots of walking, talking, and something active to focus on!
This came at a really opportune time for me, as one of my closest friends that I've made as an adult is moving across the country and I'm mourning the loss. This gives me hope that we might be able to keep the friendship in tact - but it will take a different kind of work.
oh gosh, losing a close friend to a move is rough. I've been on both ends. next week, I'm going to write about some of the things I've learned about staying in touch long distance and keeping those friendships alive -it's hard work but so worthwhile.
Great observations and tips. For me, the best conversations I've had with people I just met were during hikes. As you mentioned, it’s easier to be yourself without direct eye contact, which can make people nervous. Walking helps everyone relax, and the conversation flows naturally without pressure.
So true. I have always loved the idea of a regular hiking/walking group but haven't managed to make it happen yet!
Love the point about how long it takes.
Was just coming here to say the same thing! Amelia, your 1-2 year timeline for acquaintances/close friends is so helpful to hear, because I’m always out here like “What do you mean this process doesn’t happen instantaneously?!” 🙈
I wanted to put that in because I get so impatient when I feel like I'm not making any friends and I want it to happen faster!
I had a strong acquaintance who I started going on walks with after school drop off ~once a week like 1.5 years ago and 1.5 years into that habit she’s a VERY good friend. So yeah. That timeline is right! (Also illustrates MANY of your points, haha.)
love it when the numbers match the reality!
I’d be knocking on your door for a coffee ☕️ right now if I lived closer, Amelia! 😊
I would love to have you! Which also goes to show that friendships made over zoom can be quite substantial!
Indeed!
I’ve found being vulnerable but direct can be really helpful! I’ll admit to the challenges of making friends as an adult but tell that person I’d really like to get to know them better and work to become friends. Sometimes say the intentionality out loud helps everyone feel like they are working towards the same goal.
I’ve had a ton of success this summer taking up golfing and finding groups of women to play with and grow friendships from there. We end up walking & chatting and the secondary activity helps people be open without feeling uncomfortable. Walk and talks are such a good way to do an activity while revealing more of yourself and your personality!
Golf is a genius idea for making friends! The walking and talking and shared activity makes it so much easier to be with people casually! I'm so glad you had luck this summer!
Yesterday I made a new friend. Or I at least went on the initial Meetup with a potential new friend. I’m 45, and I even told he I’m out of practice and feel awkward. She admitted she was too. And we’ve made plans to Meetup again next week. This was a huge step for me and I’m glad I did it.
Abigail, that's so wonderful! It feels like such a big thing (to me, anyway) when I hang out with someone new and we both want to get together again! I want to hear how the next meet up goes!