How to Find Magic in Mundane Moments

Life coach and podcaster, Paige Nolan, shares her genius strategy for turning the everyday bustle of family life into a meditation, plus how she finds joy at the grocery store!

Welcome to the Everyday Happiness Interviews, a series in which wise and accomplished people share honest and revealing insights on building a good life.

Paige Nolan is someone who, as soon as you meet her, you know you can trust with your secrets, so it makes perfect sense that she’s a life coach who helps people live happier, more fulfilling lives. Paige loves to settle into wide-ranging conversations about the ups and downs of being human, and her podcast, I’ll Meet You There, explores everything from cooking as an act of love to managing our energy, with guests like journalist Willie Geist and grief counselor Barri Leiner Grant.   

I’ve known Paige for over 20 years (our husbands went to high school together!), and my favorite thing about her is that she can find joy anywhere. Inspired by the story she recounts below, I found myself laughing with a stranger in the waiting room of a doctor’s office yesterday—that tiny moment of connection was a highlight of my day!

Paige lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Boyd, twin girls Ryan and Mimi (17), and son Myles (15). They love staying home to cook together, watch TV, and obsessively love their rescue dogs, Lou and Riggs, who you’ll meet below.

Read on for the daily rituals that help Paige slow down, the standard advice that doesn’t work for her, and how she uses money to buy happiness.

What habits and routines do you practice to promote and protect your happiness and well-being?

There are many little things I do to feel good throughout the day. They all seem to connect to the same theme, and if that theme had a name, it would be: slow down. 

Here are three examples that serve as anchors for my day:

1. In the morning, I drink a cup of tea and write in my journal for 15 minutes. At the top of the blank journal page, I always write, “Today is…” and fill in the day and date. There is something about writing the date in my handwriting that feels like “entering” the day. I write whatever comes to mind. No rules, no prompts. Sometimes it’s about something that happened the day before, sometimes it’s a feeling I’m having in real time—sometimes it’s getting clear about what needs to happen that day, but it’s not a “To Do List.” I feel more centered and lighter after I write in my journal.

2. Midday, I walk my dogs in a field behind my house. I love opening the gate and watching them run free. I make it a point to look at the sky, take some deep breaths, touch a tree, and just be outside and appreciate nature. This is the best reset, and it’s so easy to do—nature is medicinal (and free).

3. Before bed, I take a bubble bath with lavender-scented Epsom salts. Now and then, I have trouble falling asleep if something is really on my mind, but I’ve never had to use a sleep aid. I think that’s because this bath is so routine for me. My body knows that after the bath comes sleep, and it works. And when it comes to being happy and well, sleep is the cornerstone.

   

   Lou and Riggs, Paige’s rescue dogs

What gets in the way of your happiness, and how have you learned to counter that?

Overthinking undermines my happiness every time. When I compare my life to someone else’s or analyze why I did or didn’t do something, I find myself in a pit of insecurity, riddled with self-doubt.

The answer is self-compassion—less judgment, more love. Less criticism, more acceptance.

It’s a conscious choice to be kind to oneself, and when I do the little things throughout my day (see above) to slow down, I am better at making that choice.

I love sharing an honest moment with another person—where life is real, and it’s ridiculous, and I remember we are all in it together. 

This often happens with strangers in the grocery store…

Yesterday, I was standing in front of the cheese section next to a woman holding a basket that was clearly too full. She added another item, a pack of cheddar cheese, to her basket and looked at me knowingly, as if to say, “another day at the grocery store.” That was how I was feeling, too—tired and burnt out, resentful of yet another day dealing with feeding a family.

“I do that all the time,” I told her. “I come in for one item, and then it’s like…” I nodded at her basket.

She smiled and leaned in closer to me, voice lowered, locked in eye contact, “Every fucking week, I’m in the goddamn grocery store! Give me a fucking break!”

She looked about ten years older than me, dressed in workout clothes and a baseball cap. I wasn’t expecting her to use the language I was feeling, and it was really funny. I got the giggles with her because it felt so good to share our frustration that it’s annoying as fuck to run errands and manage the mundanity of a parking lot and checkout lines.

This morning, I laughed with my husband when I was looking for my eyeglasses…and they were on my face! Aging is terrifying, wonderful, and funny.

Laughing at human moments we share is joyous and it’s one of the most connecting and life-affirming things we can do.

Paige with her husband, Boyd

Assuming money can buy some happiness, what do you consider money well spent?

I love investing in my personal growth.

I tried therapy sporadically in my late 20s and early 30s, but it was always a session or two in reaction to some stressful experience. I didn’t do anything consistently until just before my 40^th birthday—when I partnered with a therapist who helped me understand who I am and what I want. Since then, I’ve worked with various coaches to help me grow my business and design a life I love.

I will celebrate my 50^th birthday in a few months, and I can say that the support I’ve received from these helping professionals has been the best money I’ve spent in my life.

One of the reasons I love working as a life coach is because I’ve been so grateful to be on the receiving end of great coaching—I know the impact it’s had on my happiness, and I want to give that to others.

Are there any well-known happiness habits—or standard advice—that haven’t worked for you?

Morning meditations don’t work for me. In fact, meditating at the same time every day has never worked for me.

I appreciate meditating and I can feel the benefits when I do it more often. But rather than putting pressure on myself to adopt this air-tight, non-negotiable meditation practice, I’ve made it a point to approach my daily life with more mindfulness.

To be meditative rather than sitting in meditation looks like washing my hands with an awareness of the warm water, reflecting on my intention before I start a conversation with my husband about money, and appreciating the smell of perfume in our house when my teenage daughters are getting ready to go out. It’s delighting in my teenage son’s shriek when he is gaming with his friends online and breathing consciously when I feel like I’m running late.

To live a thoughtful life, to be present in everyday moments—that’s my meditation practice.

Paige, Boyd, and their children, Myles, Ryan and Mimi

Are there any mantras, quotes, or sayings that inform your approach to the pursuit of a good, well-lived life?

There are three:

1. “The marvelous thing about a good question is that it shapes our identity as much by the asking as it does by the answering.”  David Whyte

2. “Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” Mary Oliver

3. “It is love alone that gives worth to all things.” Saint Teresa of Avila, Christian Mystic

Who do you consider wise? Is there anyone whose advice you consistently follow?

I’m interested in the part inside of each of us that holds wisdom, and I am blown away by the natural intelligence and insight of human beings.

At every stage of my career as an educator, guidance counselor, and now coach, I’ve witnessed people (of all ages) come to the most beautifully wise conclusions.

We perceive so much more than we realize—we are gifted with native intuition and wisdom. It’s just a question of accessing it.

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Thank you, Paige, for sharing your wisdom and experience with us! You can learn more about her work here and her podcast here.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone, and I’ll see you next Friday! xo Amelia

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