How a Brooklyn Journalist Buys Freedom and Joy

"Nothing feels as good as being under-scheduled" says Anne Kadet on making time for creativity and fun, plus the 3 inspiring mantras she lives by

While I write a newsletter with “happy” in the title, the truth is this: I don’t know what the secret to happiness is, and I find the pursuit of it endlessly challenging.

Even though I’m an optimist at heart, I’m easily ensnarled in negative feelings about petty things, and if I’m not careful, a murky sense of dissatisfaction can become my default. To guard against this, I keep a list of the simple and mostly free things I’ve learned to incorporate into my days that really do make me feel happier.

But as an optimizing, Type A (Virgo) student of happiness, I’m always wondering what else I could add to my list, and, because I’m naturally nosy, what other people do to promote their happiness and well-being…

Welcome to the Everyday Happiness Interviews, a new series in which wise and accomplished people share honest and revealing insights into the ideas and habits that underpin a well-lived life.

The first Everyday Happiness Interview is with Anne Kadet, a journalist, and the creator of CAFÉ ANNE, a weekly newsletter devoted to all things delightful, innovative, and wonderful, with a New York City focus. Anne was previously a columnist for The Wall Street Journal, and her work has been published widely, including in Fortune, New York Magazine, Esquire, Crain's New York Business, The New York Times, and O, The Oprah Magazine.

I got to know Anne as a reader of CAFÉ ANNE, and while we’ve never met in person, her joie de vivre is infectious: I mean, how many newsletters have their own theme song?! Receiving Anne’s newsletter is a highlight of my Mondays, and what I love and admire most is her fearless and energetic commitment to following her curiosity, no matter where it leads. My favorite features include her regular Eric Adams Watch, an analysis of Taylor Swift mentions in NY Times headlines, and her decidedly not run-of-the-mill woman-on-the-street interviews.

Anne’s thoughts on how to construct a satisfying life are fascinating, inspiring, and most of all, achievable.

What habits and routines do you practice to promote and protect your happiness and well-being?

I love a routine in general. I wear the same exact thing every day and eat the same meals every day. I have days and hours of the week set aside for work, friends, the gym, grocery shopping, laundry, meditation, studying and errands.

I even have specific times of the day set aside for checking texts, emails and returning calls. I keep my phone off from 9 pm to 8 am. I do not work on the weekend, and Saturdays in particular are reserved entirely for fun and relaxation—no work, no errands, no chores, no volunteering.

With this routine in place, I don't clutter my mind with endless planning and decision-making—so there's way more space for creativity and fun!

I have to ask: what are the "exact same things" that you eat every day?!

Currently, it's Greek yogurt for breakfast, a salad with a half-pound of chicken breast for lunch and a half pound of ground beef with cooked vegetables for dinner. I like protein! Also, eating the same thing every day really simplifies my grocery shopping. When I eat out—typically once or twice a week—I order whatever I want. Pizza! Pancakes! Chocolate cake!

Are there any activities that brought you joy during your childhood or adolescence that you would like to return to?

The activities I most enjoy now are precisely those I loved when I was ten years old—writing, reading novels, asking questions, long walks, riding my bicycle, learning, hanging out with my dog, time with family and friends, listening to music and playing the piano. The best part is all these things are FREE.

What gets in the way of your happiness, and how have you learned to counter that?

What gets in the way is over-scheduling! I get greedy and try to pack too many hobbies, work projects, books, classes, friends, volunteer opportunities, errands, podcasts and meetings into my day.

Even if everything I'm doing is fun, an overscheduled day takes on a blurry, harried quality and provides little satisfaction. When I take it too far, I wind up feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

I've learned to counter this tendency by being very strict about how much I schedule within any given day. This forces me to decide what I value most highly and make tough choices. I can do anything I want, but I can't do everything.

A few activities enjoyed at a relaxed pace provide a lot more satisfaction and pleasure than a blurry day crammed with projects and appointments.

I constantly remind myself: "Nothing feels as good as being under-scheduled."

Assuming money can buy some happiness, what do you consider money well spent?

I've been robbing my retirement savings these last two years so I can spend 20 hours a week working on my newsletter. Finally, after a 30-year career in journalism, I can write about what I want to write about, the way I want to write it.

I'm buying my own freedom, and this is bringing not just happiness, but real joy and satisfaction. I know in my heart I will never regret this.

Are there any mantras, quotes, or sayings that inform your approach to the pursuit of a good, well-lived life?

"The time to relax and enjoy is now." Right now! While I'm taking out the garbage or riding the subway. Not later, when the to-do list is finished. That time will never arrive.

"You can't un-fun your way into fun." It's possible to make almost anything into a game, or at least an interesting experiment. If you have to do something, why not make it fun?

"Without inner peace, there is no outer peace." Knowing that the world is nothing more than a reflection of my mind, I try to take total responsibility for everything I experience. No blaming others, "society" or luck. It's very empowering!

Who do you consider wise? Is there anyone whose advice you consistently follow?

Buddha! He really understood human psychology and what makes people happy. His teachings never fail me.

How did you come to your current approach of carefully protecting and managing your time? Did this result from an epiphany, or turning point moment?

There's been no epiphany but I'm always iterating and the general direction is toward simplification, doing fewer things and more free time.

When there's too much to do and too many tasks to manage, your whole life becomes about crossing things off your to-do list, and that is no way to live.

1. My Most Bonkers Story Ever!

2. I Wear the Same Thing Every Day and I Love It!

3. I Played NYC Adventure Roulette and I Won!

4. I Asked 100 New Yorkers for a Dollar’s Worth of Wisdom

Thank you for reading - and an enormous thank you to Anne for sharing her wisdom and experience with us! Click here if you’d like to sign up to receive CAFÉ ANNE.

If you like this newsletter, you can let me know by hitting the ❤️ button at the top or bottom of this email, writing a comment, or sharing it with friends. Thank you! ❤️

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