What to Drink When You're Not Drinking
wine, beer, mocktails, and bocktails for the sober-curious; a dreamy romance, and Gen Z slang!
It's May 10th and my Dry January experiment is still going strong: I haven’t had an alcoholic drink this year. And while I love the side effects of not drinking (a clear head, no hangovers, no need to calculate how many drinks I can have when it comes to driving or calories), there are certain things I do miss…
Mostly, sipping something festive while chatting to people at a party, and my beloved evening ritual of turning on a fun playlist and pouring a crisp glass of Sancerre to tell my busy brain to stop working and relax into the evening.
I’m not drinking because I like the way I feel, not to punish myself and render life joyless! And so, over the past few months, I’ve experimented with various non-alcoholic options, and have gotten curious about what other non-drinkers reach for at parties and at home. Below are a bunch of ideas from me – and my sober, and sober-curious friends - for the times when you want a drink that’s alcohol-free.
I’d love to know: what’s your go-to non-alcoholic beverage for social situations or nights at home?
To replace my evening glass of wine, I wanted something as close to wine as possible because almost as important to me as the taste, is the pleasing sight of a golden-hued liquid flowing from an elegant bottle into a pretty glass. After trying many options, I’ve concluded that dealcoholized wine tastes better than non-wine, and German winemakers seem to know what they’re doing. A huge bonus: dealcoholized wine is much lower in calories and carbs than regular wine, so a great choice if that’s a priority for you.
My favorite dealcoholized wine is this Chardonnay. The Pinot Noir from the same winemaker pairs well with a steak dinner.
For something festive, I love Dr. Fischer’s Steinbock. It’s a dry Champagne-style sparkling wine, and when I first tried it at a very hip hotel, I immediately passed my glass to Jim, wanting him to confirm that it tasted as good as domestic champagne. To jazz things up, I add sliced strawberries, lemons, and some ice cubes to make a fizzy, fruity, version of La Piscine, the South of France summer classic.
For beer drinkers, Athletic Brewing’s offerings are far and away the number one choice. For special occasions, my friend Patrick recommends Guinness Zero, and in the summer, he makes a refreshing “Cowboy” beer mocktail (bocktail?!) by adding ice cubes and two limes to a beer glass, then filling it with Heineken Zero, or another n/a beer.
Henrietta, who was raised in England, “always has some Elderflower Cordial on hand. You can either make it (if you can find the raw materials - elderflower grows in England) or buy it. It's great with either flat or sparkling water.”
My friend Andrew swears by ginger ale and Welch’s grape juice as his standard non-drink drink, with the disclaimer that the grape juice must be Welch’s.
Mary Elizabeth loves sparkling water: her favorite new flavor is Tropical Fruit by Waterloo and she also loves LaCroix in Limoncello, and Spindrift’s Grapefruit and Pineapple flavors. Next up, she’s planning to try Waterloo’s latest, All Day Rosé…
I’m not a big fan of sparkling water (the bubbles hurt my tummy), and n/a wine was not available when we were in the Bahamas on vacation, so when I wanted something to sip during cocktail hour, I created an evening drink (“Unnamed Vacation Mocktail”) by filling a tall glass with ice and adding whatever fruit juice we had on hand, plus fresh lemon and lime juice, water, and a splash of apple cider vinegar to cut the sweetness. I know what you’re thinking - apple cider vinegar sounds gross - but in the right amount, it gives a grown-up edge to a sugary drink.
When meeting friends at a bar or dining out, I highly recommend a virgin Mojito with plenty of fresh mint. My friend Andrew, who loves a good cocktail, concurs and also recommends a virgin Bloody Mary, as an always-reliable cocktail stand-in.
Mary Elizabeth likes to order half seltzer/half iced tea with a squeeze of fresh orange juice. She says “the orange gives it a nice flavor plus the bubbles are refreshing and cut the caffeine.”
One piece of advice when you’re out and about: don’t be afraid to ask for what you want! Whether it’s the creative challenge or the imperative to please a fussy customer (me!), I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the willingness of bartenders to create custom mocktails.
Until recently, whenever we had guests over, I didn’t give any thought to providing something for the non-drinkers beyond sparkling water and the sodas we needed for mixed drinks.
These days, we always have Athletic Brewing beers plus my favorite non-alcoholic wines on hand, and when The New York Times’ recent choose-your-own-adventure dinner party feature included a Dirty Lemon Tonic mocktail, I was inspired to do better. For ideas, I asked my friend Jenn, who is truly a mocktail specialist, for her go-to recipes for various occasions - below are two of her favorites!
A Fancy “Champagne” Mocktail, like a French 75
Mix the ingredients and garnish with a lemon twist!
2 oz Lyre’s Dry London
¾ oz fresh lemon juice
¾ oz simple syrup
2 oz NoSecco
Humuhumunukunukuapuaa Mocktail: great for summer pool parties and cookouts
Named after Hawaii’s state fish, this is a tiki bar staple: just mix the ingredients over ice and garnish with cherries!
2 oz Lyre’s Dry London
¾ oz fresh lemon juice
¾ oz pineapple juice
½ oz Orgeat Syrup
2 dashes Peychaud's Bitters (there is technically alcohol in the bitters but this is a tiny amount!)
🎞️ The Idea Of You: this fun, steamy romance reminded me of the best romcoms of the 90s and 2000s with a dreamy premise (absolutely gorgeous 40-something woman falls for absolutely gorgeous 20-something mega-famous pop star), delicious scenery (Coachella! the South of France!) and a hard-won happy ending. Based on a bestselling book, this is a great movie for solo or group girls’ nights…
📰 Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever by Gary Shteyngart: satirist Gary Shteyngart spent a week on the world’s largest cruise ship, so that the rest of us can read about it from the comfort of home. I laughed out loud several times as Gary, who describes himself as “old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist,” experiences cruise ship land. He attempts to make friends with the denizens, samples the food and drink, and learns how to attain privileged status, while mostly wearing a t-shirt that proclaims him as “Daddy’s Little Meatball.”
📺 Baby Reindeer: I hesitated to recommend this limited series, which is based on a true story, due to the many difficult themes involved, including stalking, sexual abuse, and generational trauma. I ultimately decided to include it, because these issues are handled with nuance and empathy, which is an extraordinary achievement. Like Fleabag, this series grew out of a one-man show by writer and actor, Richard Gadd, who plays the lead role in this TV version. I watched the entire thing with the sense that while the unfolding disaster was incredibly hard to witness, I felt pinned to my sofa, transfixed, desperate to know how it all would end.
👓Looking for something else to watch or read? More ideas here:
📆 May 2024 Recs // 📖 Books // 📺 TV Shows // 🍿 Movies
In Case You Missed It: Everything you need to know about Chinese online mega-store, Temu // LOL: A teacher “gaslights” his Gen Z student with made-up slang; he’s clip // More Gen Z lingo translated for the rest of us - watch to the end for the kids’ reactions! // What is “choosing the bear?”// When your therapist is a TikTok star // Would you pay $40K for a fitness membership that promises longevity? // As a huge Bingo fan, I’m all in on this trend! //
Thank you for reading - that’s it for me this week! I’m planning to pop into your Inboxes again on Tuesday with the first edition of a new series I’m excited about, and that I hope you like! 🤞
Clicking the ❤️ button at the top or bottom of this email supports my work!❤️
Was this forwarded to you, or did you click a link on Instagram or Facebook?
🔔 Subscribe for free to receive weekly recommendations for books, TV shows, movies, and more; plus essays and how-to’s on adding happiness and meaning to every day.
Hi! I did about 6 months totally dry and since then have been on a “0-4 drinks a month” plan (only outside of the home, only on weekends, only if it feels additive to something that’s already fun — not to try to make something not fun fun). For NA drinks I like: kombucha or chilled chamomile tea in a wine glass. The NA beers you said, plus Peroni 0. Fun juices cut a bit - guava juice w lime and sparkling water — love you apple cider vinegar idea and will try the tiniest splash!
Thanks for all of these! My go to brunch at home drink is a michelada with the athletic brewing cerveza. Mikkeller also makes really interesting NA beers including a rasberry that tastes more like a fun cocktail!