The Joy of Retail Therapy (And Dressing like My Heroines!)

12 mood-boosting things I've bought and 6 things I want...

Years ago, when I had a high-pressure job at a financial services firm and spent most of my waking hours in the office, I developed a coping mechanism to handle stress and anxiety: obsessive online browsing. 

During tension-filled conference calls (this was before Zoom) and hasty desk salad lunches, I’d mindlessly scroll and click through fashion sites in an attempt to distract myself from my worries. In search of the perfect dress, blouse, or flattering black pants (you can never have too many!), I’d compare prices, cuts, reviews, and fabrics while keeping multiple tabs open on my screen to keep track of it all.

The thing was, I rarely bought anything! I’d get pulled into an urgent meeting or realize a deadline was looming and abandon my search, only to resume when I felt the pressure mount again.

It was an unsatisfying habit that mostly ended when I left that job but reappears now and then when I’m unsettled and itchy with anxiety…which I have been during the past several months.

But lately, instead of endlessly searching, I’ve indulged in the proven pleasure of retail therapy to boost my mood and feel a small but noticeable sense of accomplishment and control. I know it’s not the key to lifelong happiness, and shopping addiction is real, but allowing myself to buy a few things has felt undeniably good!

And so, if you need permission and inspiration to indulge in a little joy-inducing therapeutic shopping, here’s what I’ve bought lately and loved, from a new lipstick (my first in decades!), and comfortable (flattering!) pants to hangover helpers, plus some things I want to buy, but haven’t yet!)…¹

My shopping spree was inspired by Cate Blanchett’s wardrobe of elegantly layered colorful dresses, skirts, and sweaters in Disclaimer. After some internet sleuthing to gather ideas, I went directly to TheOutnet.com, my go-to source when I knew exactly what I want. It’s the “outlet” site for luxury online retailer, Net-a-Porter, and everything is discounted.

My Disclaimer-inspired purchases were:

1. This silk midi skirt in taupe with an elastic waist is super comfortable. I love the festive red, too!

2. This black cashmere sweater with three-quarter sleeves, which I wore with a printed dress underneath to a dinner party last weekend! The dark purple color looks very on-trend for right now.

3. This colorful Farm Rio shirtdress which may be perfect for Thanksgiving (adjustable waist tie!).

I’m always looking for flattering and comfortable pants that aren’t jeans, and am in love with these:

4. Corduroy pants from Rag and Bone in a fall-ish chestnut color with just the right amount of stretch (and are the perfect length for my short legs).

5. Navy velvet pants from J McLaughlin: incredibly soft, stretchy, and ridiculously comfortable.

6. Vuori joggers to add to my sweatpants collection!

7. Shhhh, I’m giving my son a personalized Toblerone for his 14^th birthday next week! This is a very fun gift for chocolate lovers, and I’m banking on the fact that there will be plenty to share!

8. In my 20’s, I got frustrated, particularly in windy weather, by the way my fine, straight hair would brush my face and drag any lipstick I was wearing across it, leaving pink or red smudges. To remedy this, I swore off lipstick in favor of clear Vaseline. But a few weeks ago, I was seduced by the sales pitch (they had me at “freakishly flattering”) for the Cranberry Veil Lipstick at the Face Stockholm store in Hudson, NY, because who doesn’t want to look like the late, iconic, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy?!

9. I love Molton Brown hand soap—the scents are beautiful, and the containers are elegant, and I always keep one in our powder room. I just bought this very fancy gold-flecked version ahead of the holidays.

10. Socks! Last weekend, on a chilly day, I couldn’t resist this 3-pack of soft, colorful, crew-length socks.

After spending the first six months of this year abstaining from alcohol, I’m now drinking a lot less than I used to—only socially and on special occasions.

11. My new favorite weeknight mocktail is the Phony Negroni, which is a delicious, 45-calorie, low-fizz drink that feels—and looks—festive, especially with an orange twist!

12. When I do have a glass or two of wine, I don’t want to feel hungover the next day. Taking a ZBiotic Pre-Alcohol with my first drink helps me sleep better and not wake up with a headache and tummy troubles.

1. This polka-dot midi skirt from Trovata, which is definitely Catherine Ravenscroft-esque, and would look great with the new black sweater I bought…right?!

2. Many of my Brooklyn-based friends carry chic Clare V purses, which are super-fun because you can add a monogram and select a strap to personalize them. I’m currently coveting this one in “natural woven checker.” I also love the look of “bright navy puffy woven.”

3. This cheerful Boden sweater which is a two-fer, as it reminds me of both Cate Blanchett in Disclaimer, and another TV crush I’ve always wanted to look like: Sharon Horgan’s character in Catastrophe!

4. As a tennis fan, I’d like a copy of The Tennis Court, a gorgeous coffee table book of courts in beautiful places around the world.

5. More tennis, how gorgeous is this wrapping paper?!

6. I have been obsessed with these handblown GlassyBaby votive candles for years but have never clicked Buy because they are truly eye-poppingly expensive. Maybe this Christmas…

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Your turn: Have you bought anything lately that’s made you feel good? And—am I the only person who’s always trying to dress like someone in a TV show or movie?!

1. A Secret Strategy for Smarter Seasonal Shopping. 4 steps to create a closet of pieces you'll love wearing!

2. Living Inside a Movie…a happiness hack that that evinces a surprising amount of joy for zero, or next-to-zero dollars!

3. What I Learned about Happiness from a Fleece Vest. The joy of being satisfied with what you have.

Looking for a book or TV show?

• Bad Sisters is back, and it’s on my list of November recommendations, along with two gripping documentaries, the cookbook that’s become my weeknight go-to, and a short book about a meaningful life. I haven’t watched it yet, but The Franchise, a satirical TV series about the making of a superhero movie by the creator of Veep, is on my radar…

Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next Friday! xo Amelia

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