The Morning Routine I Can't Stop Thinking About
Journalist and personal finance expert, Lindsey Stanberry, on happiness, money well spent, and how to start each day well!
Aspirational morning routines are an entire media category, with influencers and CEOs regaling us mere mortals on the details of their elaborate meditation, intention-setting, skincare, makeup, and fitness routines. To me, these rituals often seem onerous, joylessly focused on waking up before dawn to engage in “healthy” but painful stuff like intense workouts and unappetizing green smoothies.
In contrast, journalist and money expert Lindsey Stanberry starts each day with the most delicious, cozy, and fun routine I’ve ever heard of!
More on that below, but first, allow me to introduce Lindsey…
Lindsey has written about women and money for publications including CNBC and Fortune for over a decade. She was the founding editor of Refinery29’s cult-favorite Money Diaries series, wrote the related book, and hosted the podcast. Last year, Lindsey became an entrepreneur, launching one of my favorite newsletters, The Purse, which is focused on money, work, relationships, and the nitty-gritty of how people get it all done. Lindsey lives in Brooklyn with her “frugal husband and expensive kid,” and we chatted recently about how she found her career path, what she’s learned from interviewing couples about money and household management, and the delightful tradition her family established during Covid.
Here’s Lindsey on her morning routine and more!
TV and a sweet treat! I wake up between 5 and 5:30 am each morning, before my son gets up, and eat two cookies in bed while watching a 30-minute TV show. I eat whatever cookies happen to be around the house, and that’s my breakfast! The show needs to be something that will make me feel good and that I’ll enjoy watching alone. Right now, I’m watching Bridgerton. During this time, my husband goes out for his run. Once my show is over, I start work: checking emails and writing.
I’ve been doing this for a long time—since before I had my son. I remember telling my boss when I left for maternity leave that I was worried I might not be able to get my own time back after becoming a mom, but she reassured me that there would be an adjustment period, and then things would settle down. She was right. I suspended my routine when my son was a baby and then resumed.
On weekends, I don’t always get up quite as early, and now that my son is older, he’ll sometimes join me in bed. We both watch our shows on separate devices with our headphones on, and it’s a really nice start to the day.
Favorite issues of The Purse: I love pretty much every edition of Home Economics, and my favorite part of my job is interviewing people for the series. My essay on the joys of motherhood was really popular, and it's still one of my favorites.
Real people are the most interesting: In high school, I was fascinated with Studs Terkel’s book, Working, about ordinary people and their jobs. Then, in college, I was lucky enough to get an internship in London with a journalist who did celebrity interviews. She was amazing, and I learned so much from her about how to conduct really good interviews, but I also came away with the sense that celebrities weren’t actually all that interesting. Their lives were kind of all the same. I realized I was much more fascinated by ordinary people and their lives—the daily dramas we all experience and how people make decisions.
Podcast: This Is Uncomfortable from Marketplace with Reema Khrais. It's so good!
Book: Right now, I’m reading I Feel Bad about My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron. I also like to listen to audiobooks when I’m getting ready for bed at night. At the moment, I’m listening to Confessions of a Shopaholic for the second time. I first read it years ago, and this time, I keep thinking, “wow, this has some great financial advice and insights!”
Neighborhood tradition: During the pandemic, we started throwing a block-party birthday party for our son. We invite all our friends, get a cake and snacks, and let the kids run around in the street for a few hours. This year's theme was Star Wars, and I bought 50 plastic lightsabers! I'm a big believer that kids don't really need to be entertained with a bunch of expensive activities, they mostly just want to be together to play their games. I also stock up on some adult beverages so the parents will stay and hang out with each other. We throw the party in early September, and I consider it the unofficial kickoff to the new school year. I hope it's a tradition we hold onto for a while!
Most treasured possession: My engagement ring! I've been wearing it for 16 years, and I still think it's just so pretty. But also, that little ring has been through a lot and it's special to have a piece of jewelry I wear every day. (Pictured above: Lindsey and her husband on their wedding day).
What made you decide to leave your secure job in a legacy media company to start your own business? Has it made you happier?
I was unhappy in my job—the role I was in was a bad fit, and on top of that, I was burnt out after 10 years in digital media. I was so unhappy at work that it was impacting my personal life, and I didn't want my son growing up thinking that you should settle for a bad job just because it pays well. I was very lucky in that I had a nice financial cushion and the support of my husband and family. My husband’s job provides health insurance, and my parents live nearby and help a lot with childcare.
I grapple a lot with the question: “Am I happier now?” I traded money for flexibility, but I now find that my time is valued less, and taken less seriously, both by myself and by others. Having more flexibility as an entrepreneur is great, but it creates constant tension because there’s always so much more I could be doing to advance my business, and if I take time off, I won’t achieve my ambitious goals.
My friend, Manisha Thakor, happened to write a book, Money Zen, about this very question and how to deal with the constant sense that we always need more of everything!
How do you define success as an entrepreneur?
I think about this a lot. Right now, I define it as making a full-time income from The Purse that would allow me not to need to take side gigs.
What do you consider money well spent?
Practical things that help in everyday life, like good quality childcare and our monthly cleaning lady, Rosa. And lately, I’ve been focused on my friendships and investing in them, doing things like taking trips together, which feel so worth it. I’m also planning an anniversary trip with my husband. I know that these are the things that will create memories, and I feel they’re worth spending on.
In The Purse’s Division of Labor series, a couple with children details how they manage a typical day. I asked Lindsey what she’s learned from these interviews and if she has a favorite.
One of my favorite issues was with my friend Rebecca Gale and her husband Warren, who have three kids and live in Washington, DC. Warren is a partner at a law firm and Rebecca is a writer and they were completely open about the fact that his job takes precedence because he makes more money, and I was really impressed with their honesty about this. When something goes wrong with their kids, and they need to be picked up, Rebecca handles it. Warren is involved in other ways and has taken on the role of managing the learning issues of one of their children.
It strikes me that domestic partnerships are rarely 50-50 and that they tend to work best when each partner leans into their strengths. This interview, in particular, is a good example of this.
Thank you Lindsey, you’re an inspiration!
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Looking for something good to read or watch?
My December recommendations include the festive playlists I’m listening to right now, beautiful and meaningful gift guides, an extremely bingeable and thought-provoking TV series set in Northern Ireland, and a prestige spy drama starring Richard Gere, Jeffrey Wright, and Michael Fassbender.
If you’re in the mood for a holiday movie, I highly recommend checking out
’ exhaustive and opinionated guide to what’s good, bad, and everything in between!
Thank you for reading! I’ll be back next Friday with an exciting giveaway for subscribers! xo Amelia
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Why not do something fun to start the day instead of immediately knocking items off your to-do list? I love this reframing of the morning routine! Some mornings I make a cup of coffee and just sit quietly with the dog while the rest of the house is still asleep. It’s the most restful part of my day.
I love this (and really enjoy reading everything Lindsey writes in general!). I had a very similar concern about losing my small window of me time after my son was born, and I agree, it settles down eventually. My favorite part is how unlike the typical aspirational morning routine this is - no pilates or going for a run at 4am. Cookies and a show sounds much more delightful!